


Remember me

by Mastre



Series: A voice in my soul [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Loki Feels, Loki Has Issues, Mind Control, POV Third Person, Post-Thor: The Dark World, Protective Loki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2018-07-22 15:14:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 35,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7443988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mastre/pseuds/Mastre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to "Connection". Almost three years later they meet again, and while some things have changed, others have not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Return to the tower

**Author's Note:**

> The song referred to is "Hello" by Shakespeares Sister.  
> I'm shamelessly ignoring "Age of Ultron" (Didn't like it) and "Civil war" (Haven't seen it) in this one.

_"I'm just not sure this is such a good idea."_  
_"How do we even know he's telling the truth? That it's not something he's fabricating to get us wherever he wants us?"_  
_"I can assure you this threat is real. Your world will not stand a chance without assistance."_  
_"I can't fucking believe we're considering this."_  
_"This girl... she could be severely traumatized for all we know. I don't see how we can justify dragging her here just because he says so. He abducted her; we don't know what he put her through."_

_Silence_

_"I will find her and bring her here."_

* * *

He stood on a street in a cheap Midgardian neighborhood; tiny, mostly unkempt gardens in front of worndown rowhouses. As he walked up to the wooden door he tried to get a peek through the window next to it, but the view was obscured by thick red curtains and only a sliver of light was visible at the edge. He could also hear soft, haunting music playing inside; someone was clearly home. 

The question was how she would react. If she even lived here still? The adress was years old. If not his only option would be to ask Heimdall to locate her. He pressed the curious little button the mortals referred to as a doorbell and waited.

A woman opened the door and looked questioningly at him. Her hair seemed different than he remembered, and she was quite short; when saying goodbye to Loki she had had to stand on her toes, he recalled. Of course his brother was taller than most in this realm.

Then he saw the mortal woman's face change in recognition.  
"Thor!" She looked stunned for a moment, then stepped aside to let him in. As he entered the narrow hallway the music became clearer; something like: "...love is a strange thing, just when you think you've learned how to use it it's gone..." She wore black jeans and T-shirt with a silver necklace and her body language was slightly tense, cautious. He took a breath and went straight to the point:  
"You did once care for my brother, did you not?"  
"Ye-es...", her face showing a glimpse of something that could have been discomfort, before returning to it's guarded state.  
"If he needed you, would you come?"  
"What's going on?" she asked, somewhat sharper in tone.  
"I will explain later, but if you really can... heal... as you once claimed, we could use your help."  
"I can't heal physical wounds, only emotional ones." she pointed out.  
"That is what we need." She gave him a long, searching look, then:  
"Give me ten minutes!" And just before she turned around he got a look at that necklace resting on her collarbone and how it's pendant spelled out four simple letters:  
"LOKI"

When she eventually came back out in the hallway she had a bag slung over one shoulder and a little girl on her arm.  
"I'm not sure it is wise to bring a child." he said, not at all having expected this development.  
"I think it's long overdue.", she answered cryptically and kept walking towards him. He reached out to open the door for them, but as they came close his eyes caught the toddler's raven black hair, her green eyes and a face like...  
"She's Loki's!" he exclaimed, more a startled statement than a question.  
"Her name is Arielle, and... yes, she is."

The girl looked up at him, then shyly turned her face away. He stood stunned, with all kind of confused emotions fighting in his chest. It took a while to remember what he had intended to do and went back to holding the door open. They walked out in the night, light in the house turned off and door closed behind them, and they were off.

* * *

She stepped into the lounge with her daughter by the hand, faced by three more men casually sitting or standing around the room. Thor was right behind her and it made her feel a bit protected against their stares. At least two of them seemed vaguely familiar, just like this room where she hadn't set foot for almost three years. It was strange to be here again, everything repaired and in order compared to last time she saw it; floor smooth, windows unbroken.

"Are you sure you wish to do this?" came Thor's voice behind her when she hesitated.  
"The sooner the better. I'd just rather see him alone first."

She led Arielle to a free sofa and brought a few items out of her bag for the girl to occupy herself with.  
"I will go into another room for a little while. You'll just have fun till I get back, can you do that?"

Arielle was already focused on her own things, ignoring the strangers in the room. As long as they kept their distance she should be fine.

She stood up.  
"Can I see him?"  
A man stepped out from behind the bar and approached her.  
"Let me take you. Name's Anthony Stark. You can call me Tony."

_Right! I remember you. My lover threw you out of a window._

Awkward. She greeted him and walked along. She could hear the other's voices behind her as they turned the corner.  
"You went flying with a child?"  
"We went slow. And she quite enjoyed it." 

She had indeed; Arielle had squeeled with obvious delight and showed an equally obvious annoyance when the flight was over.

They walked along a hallway that she also remembered. Being here certainly brought back memories. Not necessarily pleasant ones.  
"I didn't think you would agree to this." Tony said. "Thor must have been pretty persuasive."  
"No, I wanted to come. I need to see him again."

They stopped outside a closed door.  
"Okay, he's in there. Don't worry, he's handcuffed to the wall." She looked at him sceptically.  
"Handcuffs? Do you know how strong he is?"

_Of course you know. What was I thinking?_

"They're specially reinforced. My own invention." He opened the door and made a hand gesture. "Be my guest!" She walked into the room, heart racing in her chest.  
There was a bed and it was occupied. She suddenly wished she had asked for more information before going. What had happened, what shape he was in. She stepped closer.

His eyes were closed and he seemed even paler than she remembered, raven black hair tousled over the pillow. One of his hands was indeed chained to the wall but not closer than he could rest it normally.  
"Loki?" she asked softly. His eyelids fluttered.


	2. Meeting again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reunion and revelations

She stood in his visual field, reminding herself to breath, ready to face whatever his reaction would be. Yet she startled when it happened.

He opened his eyes, fixed them on her and suddenly sat up straight. His hand shot out, grabbing her by the collar of her jacket... and froze. For a moment he seemed surprised that she was real, that his hand didn't pass right through. His eyes narrowed and suddenly he looked just like she remembered; dangerous and intense.  
"You..." His voice was hoarse, strained, like he had to speak with effort. "Why...?"  
"Thor came to get me. He said you..." He sank back against the bed but didn't let go of her, and she had to lean forward, supporting herself to not lose balance. "... needed help," she finished akwardly. Her hand fumbled for a chair nearby, so she at least didn't have to stand bent over, but it was difficult to get it in place and sit when he wouldn't let go.

Once he did, it was only to grab her with his other hand while the first one started tracing her facial features. It reminded her of that time long ago, when he had threatened her, demanding she tell him how they knew each other.

_"Ever dreamt of being ravaged by a god?"_

She had certainly found out what that felt like. Though at the time she hadn't believed that he really was from another world, another species entirely. Or of a people her ancestors had described in their myths. 

It felt strange to be close to him again and know that it was true. Her worldview had changed back then, but being physically near him made it feel more real. Their emotional connection had been her reminder that it hadn't all been a dream. That and Arielle.

"Why did you come?" he asked.  
"As I said..."  
"Why?" He tightened his grip and she finally understood what he must mean.  
"I... I wanted to see you again. Can you please let fucking go of me? This is getting annoying."  
He smiled, looking like something finally settled his doubts, then slowly let go so she could straighten up.  
"Thank you," she said, not completely without sarcasm.

He kept looking at her, but without the initial bewilderment.  
"Still such a feisty mortal," he concluded, alluding to that first time, clearly as bright in his memory as in hers. She rolled her eyes.  
"At least I'm not the one locked up this time. How does it feel to have the roles reversed?" He gave his chain a condescending look.  
"This is nothing. Once I'm back to normal strength I will free myself quickly enough."  
Now that wouldn't surprise her one bit.

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again," she admitted, beginning to relax a little.  
"I'm sure that was a relief," he said, with something not-so-casual in his voice. A hint of apprehension.  
"Hardly. I loved you, in a way. You know that." He didn't answer to that. Instead he focused on the chain as if he didn't find her answer important.

_God of lies._

"As I recall you were rather possessive," she said pointedly. "You may not have loved me, but you were..."  
"Don't presume to know what I felt!" The sudden outburst startled her.  
"Why don't you tell me then? And while you're at it, explain what's going on with you now." He looked tired, exhausted even, not that different from the very first day they met.  
"I would rather not..."  
"You really have to make everything difficult, don't you?" Loosing her patience she stood and proceeded to lift the covers to get a look under them. He stopped her, but not before she'd had a good look and went silent. His upper body was covered in bruises and cuts, clearly in the process of healing from more severe injuries. "What the hell happened?"  
His jaw tightened.  
"I had a... rather unpleasant experience a while back. While I don't wish to reveal the gruesome details there were certain consequenses I'm unable to heal on my own."  
She searched his face.  
"And that's why you need me?"  
He avoided her gaze, whether it was due to pride or something else she couldn't tell, but the answer was obvious.

She had felt it of course. A distress at the back of her mind that threatened to drain her if she gave in to it. It had lasted several months and only let up a few days ago. The curse of having your emotions tied to somebody else's. Even with physical distance they would never be fully apart.

She sat down again, mentally preparing herself for what had to be revealed:  
"Before we get to that, there is something you need to know."  
"And that is?" he asked, when she hesitated.  
"I... had a child. A girl. And she was born about... nine months after our little encounter."

He didn't seem completely surprised; she had expected more of a reaction, but then... he had always guarded his emotions. Before she could think too much of it he spoke:  
"What is her name?"  
"Arielle. She looks a lot like you."  
That seemed to trouble him more, but she couldn't fathom why.  
"I brought her here," she said. "You can see her now or later, whatever you prefer."  
He laughed quietly.  
"Considering what I did to you, what I am... why would you bring her here, why even tell me this?"  
"I'm not expecting anything of you, but you should at least know. If you rather not..."  
"I will see her," he interrupted. "You need not worry; I have no intention of harming either of you."

That had not been something she'd been concerned about, she thought as she left the room. Even back when he had tried to intimidate her she had never felt seriously threatened in his presence. Perhaps it was the connection, even though she hadn't been consciously aware of it yet. 

_Or perhaps I'm just to stupid to be afraid when I should be._


	3. Introduction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A family gathering long over due.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being late with this. I'm dealing with a non-serious but persistent health issue right now, and it effects my writing, slowing things down. Hoping it will get better soon.

She heard their voices as she approached the lounge, but all went quiet once she stepped in. From the way they looked at her she could tell that they knew.

One of them was talking to Arielle , and she seemed comfortable enough with his company. He must have found the right balance of gentleness and interest to be allowed to interact with her, and that was unusual. 

Thor stood with his back to the window, a troubled look on his face, while Tony and another man looked like they'd been interrupted in a livid argument.

"I can see that you all know by now," she said, keeping her voice steady. "Could I just ask that you keep this to yourselves? Don't share it with anyone outside this room? I have my reasons."  
"Yes, of course," they agreed, mumbling awkwardly, not meeting her gaze. She walked up to Arielle who immediately climbed up into her arms. The man next to them rose and offered his hand.  
"Dr. Bruce Banner. Nice to meet you." He had a gentle voice; Arielle would have taken well to that.

"Does she not speak?" Thor asked.  
"Only when she wants to." she answered, balancing Arielle who was squirming to reach something over her shoulder. The sound of an item crashing to the floor made her wince. "But she understands a lot more than one might think."

Their voices started up again as soon as she turned the corner.  
"Should she really be bringing the girl in there?"  
"My brother has done many things, but he would not harm a child."  
"I want to hear this. JARVIS!"

* * *

Loki was sitting up but his chained arm had been covered up, she noticed.  
The girl looked at him with bright interest, then she spoke, perfectly clear, for the first time since they left home:  
"Are you an angel?"  
Loki's eyebrows lifted; he looked amused at the question.  
"Not exactly... but I am a god," he said mischievously, and Arielle seemed to accept the answer without second thought. She looked intently at him, for once not shying away when faced with someone she didn't know well. 

Loki glanced up with the unspoken question written on his face.  
"I might have told her something in that direction..." she admitted, slighly embarrassed. "She's a child; I couldn't tell her the gritty details."  
"Naturally."

_Your father kept me as a sex slave. Lord, I hope she never asks how we met!_

When she and Loki had been separated she hadn't expected to see him again. Whatever would happen to him in Asgard she hadn't been foolish to think he would be free to return anytime soon. She didn't know if he'd even want to. There was no way for her to find out more beyond their emotional link and it never provided any detail.

She'd told herself there was no hope to be held, and that it might be for the best. The whole situation had been twisted and the sooner she'd leave it behind the better. Yet she couldn't. A small part of her still held out for something, for closure. The only thing she'd known for sure was that he was alive. The connection would have told her otherwise.

Arielle smoothly wiggled out of her mothers lap and took up residence on the bed. She immediately uncovered the chain attached to Loki's arm.  
"This so you can't fly away?" she asked curiously.  
"Ah...yes, that is exactly why." he said, now even more amused. Arielle studied the chain with interest, trying to pull at it like she hoped it would break. He made no attempt to touch her, but his eyes didn't waver from her small form or the dark locks framing her face. Seeing them together there was little doubt who had fathered this child.

"Tell me about her!" he asked, with genuine interest.  
"Well, she has a will of her own, and she's very determined when she has her mind set on something. And she rarely talks but... she's very good at expressing herself, she just doesn't seem to _want_ to most of the time."

"You see differences between her and Midgardian children?" It was more a statement than a question.  
"Oh yes, her development is totally off. Ahead in some ways, late in others. I've just ascribed it to whatever genes she inherited from you. Not that I can tell the doctors that." She tried not to think back on the awkward conversations with doctors and nurses she'd endured over the last two years. All the questions about family history, and blood tests coming back with weird results.

"Is there anything else that strike you as unusual?" he asked with some hesitation.  
"You mean besides her development? Or that she's completely insensitive to cold?"  
He stiffened.  
"Are you certain?"  
"She snuck out once to play in the snow, barely had any clothes on, and she was perfectly happy. The neighbors have officially labelled me a horrible mother. You wouldn't believe how fast she is." 

There was a look on his face that she couldn't decipher but he was visibly tense. Before she had a chance to ask he said:  
"Has she ever... looked different?"  
"Looked...? What do you mean?"  
He made a dismissive gesture, shoulders relaxing.  
"It's of little concern for now. Is there anything else you wish to tell?"  
"Plenty. But there is something you're not telling me," she concluded, looking at him suspiciously.

"I am pleased that you brought her," he diverted, eyes on Arielle who seemed to care not one bit that they were talking about her.  
"I'm glad, I wasn't sure how you'd take it."  
"You figured I would deny her."  
"I don't know about Asgard, but here guys aren't always happy to find out that they inadvertantly fathered children." She shrugged. "Accidents happen, but..."  
"What if I were to tell you it wasn't an accident?"


	4. Links

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some truths are revealed and sleep is undesired.

"You made me pregnant on _purpose_?" she exclaimed, louder than intended.  
"Not... exactly," he clarified. "I made it more likely."  
"What the f...?"

It hit her. That last time in Stark Tower....  
"Before the battle. That's when you did it! I felt you doing something with that... magic, you call it."  
"Yes." he admitted, at least having the shame to look embarrassed about it.  
"Why? Wasn't the situation fucked up enough? Did you have to bring a child into it as well? Oh, don't tell me; it's about the whole 'a ruler needs a heir' thing."  
"Not completely..."

The door opened and Tony came into view, Thor standing behind him looking concerned.  
"Are you alright in here?"  
"Get out!" she yelled, slipping what little self control she had left, and they quickly disappeared.

Loki continued where they had been interrupted. He didn't look quite so apologetic anymore.  
"It was mainly to tie you closer to me."   
She looked at him, disbelieving.  
"And the connection we had wasn't enough?"  
"You would have walked away once I set you free."

She sat down again, feeling like her energy was wearing out. Being impregnated by a god. On purpose. It was like a thing straight out of fucking mythology.  
"Does the word 'consent' even exist in your world?"   
He smiled slightly.  
"It does. I admit I was not thinking very clearly at the time."

She looked at Arielle, who seemed impressively unfazed by the outburst.  
"There's more to it. You went all quiet when I told you she's not bothered by cold."  
"It is not important at this moment," he said, leaning back against the pillow. "What matters is that you brought her here."

He put an arm over his eyes, looking every inch of exhausted. She wasn't fooled for a minute.  
"You're going to have to tell me eventually."  
"It is not important," he repeated.

* * *

Back in the lounge she went straight up to Thor and asked what Loki might have alluded to, but only got uncomfortable looks.  
"What is it you two aren't telling me?"  
"It is not my place to tell," Thor stated, avoiding her inquisitive eyes. "I am sure he will reveal it all to you in his own time. Loki does things... in his own way."  
"Yeah, I've noticed," she said sarcastically. "He kidnapped me and kept me locked up for his entertainment, if you remember." 

Thor looked like he really didn't want to think about that.  
"I will have words with him," he promised. 

The final person in the room came up and introduced himself: Steve Rogers. Yes, she had a memory of him being there three years ago as well.  
"The people here are the only ones who know of the situation for now. We're trying to keep it contained until we learn more."  
"Fine with me," she said. The fewer people knowing about Arielle's connection to Loki the better.  
"Are you okay with this?" he asked. "You shouldn't have to be here. If you at any time want to leave..."  
"I'm fine," she insisted. "I don't expect anyone else to understand it, but I want to be here."

"Are you and Loki still connected?" Thor asked.  
"Always," she said. "It's like a curse. I can feel him in the back of my mind whenever I let myself go there. I just don't know what's happening at his end."  
Thor nodded thoughtfully.  
"Our mother told me it is a bond sometimes forged between those who can surpass their bodies and free their... consciousness from it's physical restraint. I understand Loki can do this due to his practicing of magic."  
"And I do it when healing. So appearently consciousness can travel across realms."

In a way she had known that. Consciousness went beyond the body, way beyond. She just hadn't known there _were_ other realms until she met Loki and her whole view of reality had had to be rearranged.

Steve was looking curiously at them.  
"What are you talking about?"  
Before they could dwelve into it Bruce came back. She had barely noticed when he'd left.  
"He's asleep," he announced.  
"I thought he refused to sleep," Steve said.  
Bruce shrugged.  
"He has to eventually."  
Thor suddenly looked concerned, but didn't say anything.

Something prickled the back of her mind and she felt something like... emotional nausea, in lack of a better descripton; like something was trying to force it's way into her mind. The next moment JARVIS spoke up:  
"It appears mr. Loki is having a seizure, sir."

Thor was out of the room in an instant, Bruce not far after.

She was left fighting a sense of panic that got worse the moment she turned her attention to it. After the initial assault it began subsiding somewhat, but only enough to be tolerable. It felt like the aftermath of a nightmare she'd had days before and been unable to recall once awake.

"Hey, are you alright?" came a voice behind her. Tony, from the sound of it. She shook her head, unable to speak. Footsteps quickly moved away, soon to return and a glass was pushed into her hand. She drank and made a face.  
"What is that?"  
"Scotch. You're not breastfeeding, are you?"  
"Not at the moment..." Ugh, this was why she didn't care for the strong stuff. He obviously meant well, however.

"What is going on in there?" she asked, fighting back a sudden need to vomit. She was fairly sure it didn't origin from the alcohol.  
"No idea. Let them deal with it."

It took another minute before the discomfort subsided. Shortly after Bruce appeared again, looking tense.  
"He's better now. I suppose this is what they meant." He sat down, still looking like he was processing the situation.  
"You think he's telling the truth?" Tony asked.  
Bruce made a helpless gesture with his hands.  
"I wouldn't know. This is not exactly something I've encountered before."

She waited patiently, but nobody seemed to want to offer an explanation. She opened her mouth to phrase a question when Thor appeared in the doorway. He looked seriously worried. And angry.  
"Hey, big guy." Tony said. "Just take it easy. We'll figure something out."  
"I appreciate the sentiment, my friend, but the only way this will be resolved is by the utter destruction of those who did this to my brother."

She caught Thor's attention and beckoned him closer.  
"Do you mind telling me what's going on? Why won't he sleep?"  
"He did not tell you?"  
"We had other things to discuss. Care to fill me in?"

Thor sat down. His eyes went briefly towards Arielle who was busy exploring everything in her path.  
"There is a... foreign influence in his mind. Something that awakes once he goes to sleep and makes if possible for an enemy to access his thoughts. Our healers can do nothing to remove it. He claims that you may be capable."  
"Me?" She suddenly remembered the time she had used her powers to access Loki's mind during her captivity and found a strange presence that wasn't his own. "Does this has to do with what happened three years ago?"  
"It does. The enemy is the same one who sent him here to conquer your world."

She could still recall the feeling. It had confused her at the time. She had searched Loki's mind without his permission or knowledge so there had been no opportunity to ask questions. The 'presence' had been fighting her interfering every step of the way, almost like a living organism, but she had never seen it disrupting his sleep.

"Maybe it's time you tell me what's really going on."


	5. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catching up on past events and a little magic.

Thor started talking, but was interrupted by Arielle who pulled at his leg, calling for attention.  
"Fly!" she said.  
He smiled down at her.  
"Not right now. Maybe I will take you flying again later."  
"Fly!" she insisted.  
"Later," he promised.  
"Daddy fly," she said and let go, turning away.

Thor seemed amused, charmed even.  
"She looks so much like my brother when he was a mere child."  
"I can imagine. People keep asking me where the black hair comes from. I can hardly tell them the truth."

Thor turned serious.  
"Has it been difficult? I understand raising a child alone is no small feat."  
"It hasn't exactly been easy," she admitted.  
"If I had known perhaps I could have helped... So much have been happening. For the longest while I thought Loki dead; then he appeared again, having been hiding in the disguise of our father."  
"Wait, what?" This evening was fully of surprises. "Would you mind starting from the beginning? I know nothing after I left here and you were supposed to take him to Asgard."

Thor's recounting of events was unbelievable so it was probably true. She'd learned to be open-minded by now. Loki's imprisonment, their mother's death, the dark elves... She didn't want to interrupt with too many questions, so she mostly listened.

What he told her about Loki's "death" resonated with her. She _had_ felt something at that time, but it had passed like so many other feelings she'd learned to associate with the connection.  
"How did he survive?"  
"The way he tells it it had something to do with the blood of the creature who attempted to kill him. Since the weapon went through him first and Loki later..."  
"Yes, yes, I get the picture." She shuddered, not wanting that image in her mind. That explained a particularly nasty scar she'd seen on Loki's body earlier. 

Thor went on about how Loki had kept the Allfather in Odin-sleep while taking his place, something everyone, including Thor himself, had been unaware of.  
"I was away much of the time," Thor admitted, "or I might have suspected something. As it was he found it increasingly difficult to keep it all... together, as you say. He did it well, I cannot deny, ruling Asgard, but he eventually..."  
"Let me guess; he found it hard to pretend being someone else all the time?" That would take a toll on anyone, and Loki didn't strike her as someone who wanted to hide himself for long; he wanted to be _seen_.  
"Indeed," Thor confirmed. "It is not in my brother's nature to conceal himself in such a manner. He... seeks recognition." Thor looked troubled for a moment.

"So what happened?"  
"He's old allies found him at a weak moment. They came... looking for something in Asgard, and Loki was taken." Thor paused, clearly bothered by the subject.  
"Taken?"  
"They were a small force, yet powerful. Whatever weapons they wielded are unknown to us, but Loki, despite putting up considerable resistance, was unable to hold them off. They took what they came for, and him as well."  
"So that's why he looks like he's been through hard times. This happened recently, didn't it?"  
"Merely a few months ago, in your time count. They left a trail, but it took me a long time to follow it. I returned to Asgard as soon as I heard, yet it required time and effort to trace him to where he was kept. Too long, I fear. He was... in a bad condition."  
"But you got him out?" She didn't want too much detail, the connection had provided her with enough distress as it was.  
"So I did. We may not see eye to eye, but he is my brother and I would not abandon him to such a fate. We fought our way out together and he's been recovering since."

Well, that was quite a bit to take in. She would have to go over it all in her mind later.  
"And why is he chained to the wall?" she asked.  
Thor glanced in the direction of the rest.  
"He has yet to earn the trust of others. His previous interactions with this world has been less than fortunate."

* * *

"Where is Arielle?" She looked around but couldn't see her daughter anywhere.  
"Don't worry," Tony said lightly. "She can't get off the floor. Probably off exploring somewhere."  
"That's what I'm afraid of."

She got to her feet and went through the nearest rooms, finding them all empty and undamaged. Arielle could be somewhat of a force of nature, especially if she got bored, so she prepared for what she might encounter. Finally she came to the room where Loki was kept. The door was open, his voice carrying through.  
"It's called magic," he said. Arielle giggled.

He looked even worse than before, if such a thing was possible. Appearantly sleep deprivation had as bad effects on Asgardian gods as on humans, even if the former could hold out longer. Or maybe it was the mind invasion that had taken it's toll. If what she had felt was a mere echo of it...  
Arielle was standing by the bed, intently looking at something in Loki's hands. A faint green light was glowing from his palms.

_They're actually connecting._

This went better than she had dared hope for.

She lingered in the doorway, watching them quietly. She didn't want to interrupt the moment.  
Arielle giggled again, then poked a finger at whatever she saw in his hands, quickly withdrawing it with a squeak of delight.  
"Magic," she said.  
"Yes, magic," he repeated. "It's useful for a great many things."

When she eventually approached them the green light had faded and Loki withdrew his hands.  
"I should have guessed she'd find her way back here."  
"She did indeed," Loki said thoughtfully. He kept watching the girl like he couldn't take his eyes off her.  
"What are you thinking?"  
"I sense... something, but it's too early yet to assess for sure."

That was cryptic.  
"What do you mean?"  
"Her potential. There a abilities she may develop if they're honed right."  
"Like magic?" She didn't know what magic was, except for how she'd seen Loki use it, and that was only on a couple of occasions.  
"Among other things."  
"Is that something you can do naturally or do you have to learn it?" She was curious; it was so different from the world she knew.  
"The ability is innate; the skill of wielding it needs to be taught."  
"So who taught you?" she asked, wondering if they had teachers for such things in Asgard. Did they learn how to use magic in school?  
"My mother," he answered.

Arielle was exploring the room with her usual curiousity, paying attention to small details that most would overlook or deem unimportant. Her face had a bit of an annoyed frown though.  
"I think she needs something..." Loki said.  
"Yes, a new diaper. I can smell it." She took Arielle by the hand. "Maybe I can get Thor to do it. He said something about wanting to help."  
Loki huffed.  
"That I'd like to see."  
"Oh, just wait till you're out of those chains. I'll make you do all the things you've missed."  
He looked at her dubiously.  
"You would have me caring for her?"  
"Why not? You had the fun part, now do the work."  
He grinned.  
"As I recall you quite enjoyed 'the fun part' as well."  
"Don't remind me."

The thought still bothered her a little, because she had enjoyed it and you shouldn't _want_ sex with your captor. She could tell herself it had been sensible to lean in and make the best of the situation, but it wasn't true. She had enjoyed it. And that was really the only thing that had prevented things from escalating into rape.

Their connection was not a game; it was a powerful force, with potential to be both painful and dangerous.

"I'll be back in a little while," she said. "Just going to take care of this first."  
"I'll be here."


	6. Mind games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some talk and some doubts.

Arielle was asleep in a nearby room.

"Thor told me what happened," she said. "That you were captured by your former allies."  
"I would rather not go into detail on that experience," Loki said with visible distaste. "What remains is a mental link that resists every attempt at removing it. It can be used to access my thoughts, but perhaps also to explore my surroundings. I don't know how far it will extend once I let it take hold."  
"You mean it could get to you while you're awake as well?"   
He shrugged.  
"It's a possibility. It may even be used to control me, which is a risk I will not take."  
"So you refuse to sleep."

That wasn't a long term solution.

"And why do you think I can fix it?" she asked. "I've never dealt with anything like this. I treat PTSD, not... whatever this is."  
He changed position, leaning against the wall. Clearly he tried to avoid lying down, even when uncomfortable.  
"I do not know the extent of your powers, but we are connected, are we not? It should make it easier for you to enter my mind and undo the interference."  
"Hold, hold! It's not that simple." She couldn't believe how easy he made it sound. "I must confess that I entered your mind once before. It was back when we... when you held me captive. You were asleep and I went into your mind to find out more about what I was getting into."

She waited to see his reaction, but it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been. He simply narrowed his eyes and urged her to continue.  
"What I found was a kind of foreign presence," she said. "I don't know how to put words on it, but there was something that wasn't a part of you and it resisted everything I tried to remove it. Just dealing with it wore me out, to be honest."

He pondered that.  
"I had a mental link with someone at the time," he said. "He would communicate telepathically as we... cooperated." He said the word like it gave him a bad taste in mouth. "After the battle the link went dormant and I believed it to be broken."  
"But it wasn't, was it?" she asked, paying close attention to the tone of his voice.  
"When I was... returned to my former allies they activated the link anew."  
"Did they say why?"  
He looked down on his hands, picking at them thoughtfully.  
"Not in so many words. It was used to access my mind whenever they saw fit." His voice was guarded, not giving away much emotion, but the subject clearly was unpleasant. She could sense it through the connection.   
"They used it to hurt you?"  
He shifted position while evading her eyes.  
"How they used it then is less important than how they're planning to use it now," he stated. "I will not sit around and wait for it to take hold of my mind so they can use me to their advantage."

She was really too tired to do this now. It was late into the night and she should take the chance to sleep while Arielle did. Yet... the least she could do was take a look at what they were dealing with.  
"Bear with me," she said and lifted her hands till her fingertips rested on his temples. Physical contact enhanced the connection immensely she found, though she hesitated a fraction of a second before touching him.

It was... strange to feel his skin under her fingers again. She had almost forgotten how cool he was to the touch.

Loki didn't object to what she was doing; he simply allowed it, a small smile on his lips. She closed her eyes so to not get distracted.

Relaxing, she allowed the impressions to form. There was definitely something which didn't belong, but it felt different than she remembered. She tugged at it a little, prodded it, examined it. Loki made a sound of discomfort but didn't move. She felt him tensing slightly.

The presence, if that's what it was, didn't like her intrusion. 

When she opened her eyes again their faces were only inches apart. She hadn't noticed them drifting closer. There was an ache in her heart when she withdrew.

_Don't get dragged into this again!_

It hadn't been a healthy relationship. She'd been a prisoner, for Christ's sake, and he had threatened her and forced himself on her and schemed to keep her with him. Yet, he had done nothing to contact her or even check up on her after his imprisonment ended. There should have been plenty of opportunity to do so if he'd really wanted to.

Was it right, she wondered, to introduce Arielle to him? She'd thought it fair to both of them. Even if they never met again they would know the other existed. They would have something to remember.

_Your father is a god from myth and legend._

Ugh, she was getting a headache. This couldn't be resolved now. None of it.  
"I have to get some sleep. Will you be okay?"  
And why did she have to ask that now? He'd been through way worse things than sleep deprivation; of course he'd be alright for a few hours.   
"I will be for now." There was a tiny smile on his lips, like he enjoyed her concern and what it was revealing.  
"Then I'll see you in the morning."

She left and tip-toed into the other room where Arielle was sleeping. Lying down she tried to calm her overactive mind. It wasn't easy. Now when things were quiet it all hit her full force. Loki was back in her life again. There were people who knew who Arielle's father was, with all that entailed. And she was expected to remove a foreign presence from a god's mind before it became a danger.

_How am I going to do this?_


	7. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morning has broken and people are trying to figure things out.

Morning came too soon. Arielle woke her up, perfectly content with only half a night's sleep. She dragged herself out of bed and dealt with everything that needed to be done. Unfortunately she had only brought things for one night and, from the look of it, this was going to take a lot longer. Either Thor would have to bring her back to pick up some clothes, or she would have to go shopping.

There was a kitchen, and she managed to find her way to it quickly enough. The only one there was Steve, who greeted her politely.  
"I'm afraid I'm going to have to steal some food," she said, heading for the fridge.  
"Mr. Stark wishes me to inform that you may help yourself to anything you desire," a voice came from nowhere. Right, that A.I. thing they'd mentioned yesterday. "If you would like something in particular simply state so and it will be ordered."  
"Uh... thank you," she said, feeling slightly foolish at speaking to a disembodied voice.  
"You'll get used to it," Steve reassured. "Did you sleep alright?"  
"I'm not sure," she said, opening a yoghurt container for Arielle. She went to locate a spoon only to find that the girl had already started licking at the content.  
"I imagine it couldn't have been easy for you yesterday, with so much happening."  
"I'm fine," she said. "It's just..."  
"Yum," Arielle said.  
"Yes, yum. You have it over half your face already."  
Arielle smiled proudly. Apart from the yoghurt decorating her features she looked uncannily like Loki in that moment. Steve stared, looking somewhat unsettled.  
"I'm just a little overwhelmed, that's all." She found some eggs in the fridge and sat down to peel them.

Tony walked in.  
"Coffee!" he said. "Morning kids, old man."   
Steve looked unimpressed but didn't retort.

_Right, he's been frozen since the forties._

Weird people.

"So where is Thunderboy? Still sleeping?"  
"Thor's with Loki," Steve said. "At least he was last I checked."  
"A little brotherly bonding then." Tony glanced out the window. "Skies are clear so I take it they're not trying to kill each other yet."

* * *

"You would be wise to tell her," Thor insisted.  
"I will when the time is right." Loki seemed more focused on his hands than on the subject at hand.  
"You resented being kept in the dark. Would you do the same to your own child?"  
"I will not!" Loki's eyes flashed in sudden anger. "I will tell her when she's old enough to understand what it means."  
"But you will not tell her mother? You don't think she deserves to know?"  
"And what difference would it make? Do tell how knowing that her daughter is part _frost giant_ is going to change anything?"

Thor watched him thoughtfully.  
"You're concerned it will affect her feelings for you."  
"Oh please." Loki rolled his eyes.  
"I think you care more about her opinion than you wish to admit, and she is clearly here because she cares for you. She didn't have to come. I did nothing to coerce her, yet she was ready to go the moment I explained you were in need."  
"I'm sure you made it sound so much worse than it is. She clearly felt obligated."  
"She wears your name as a pendant," Thor pointed out. "After three years of not hearing a word from you. You cannot just pretend..."  
"You are not to tell me what i can and cannot do." Loki stated coldly.  
Thor bit down on the words he was going to utter. This was leading nowhere.  
"Then I will take my leave and let you rest, brother."  
"How considerate of you." The sarcasm was cutting, but Thor didn't respond.

* * *

"Loki and I are... connected," she tried to explain.  
"How so, connected?" Tony asked with a frown.  
"Emotionally. We can feel each other when we're not in the same room. Or in the same world, for that matter."

She hated sitting there and try to explain the impossible, seeing the scepticism on their faces. Bruce had joined them in the kitchen, but wasn't saying much so far. It was Steve who had initiated the topic.

"I knew him before we met," she said. "I thought it was just something I'd dreamt up, but he turned out to be a real person."  
"Does he feel it too?" Bruce asked.  
"That's the reason he abducted me in the first place. We recognized each other and he... wanted to find out why."  
"Recognized you?" Steve was clearly trying to wrap his head around it.  
"Yes, like we had met before, but we hadn't."

She wiped the surface around Arielle's plate. Mashed eggs with butter was a favourite, but it had a tendency to spill over the edges.  
"So there was a reason for... what he did." Bruce seemed as hesitant as the others to approach the subject directly. Due to Arielle's presence it was obvious what had happened, and they all seemed uncomfortable about adressing that aspect of the abduction. Well, she wasn't keen on discussing it either.  
"It's complicated," she said, sipping her tea.  
"Like!" Arielle said, shoving her spoon into the food and flipping it into her mouth.  
"I know you do, honey."

Thor walked into the kitchen, greeting them. He looked concerned, like he'd done most of the time since they arrived the night before.  
"Any news on Reindeer Games?" Tony asked.  
"He still will not sleep, but his injuries are healing." Thor poured himself some coffee. "Loki can go without rest for a long time, but it may slow down the healing and become more difficult for him to stay awake as time passes."  
"So we don't need to worry about him pulling another world domination any time soon?"  
Steve and Bruce both gave Tony a look for that comment.  
"What? You're supposed to look at the bright side, right?"  
"Daddy Loki," Arielle said, wiping her fingers on the table.  
Thor smiled fondly.  
"It's unfortunate mother didn't get to see her," he said. "I believe it would have pleased her greatly." He moved to sit across them. "Loki seems certain you will be able to help."  
"I will try," she said, "but I honestly don't know if it will work." She wanted to help, she really did, but how to go about it... "He seems to think it's just for me to go in and flip a switch and the problem will be solved."  
"He has much confidence in you."  
"I don't see why." She rubbed her eyes. "It's not like he's ever seen me do anything like this."  
"Loki is not one to easily put his trust in others. That he does so in you is encouraging. He may not yet be completely lost."

_Right. No pressure. No pressure at all._

"I will go see him when we're done here," she said.


	8. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The healing begins and feelings come to surface.

Seeing Loki meant, once again, an onslaught of conflicted emotions. He didn't look well, and it made her think of the very first time she'd layed eyes on him, arriving from another part of the universe exhausted and dangerous.  
"You really need some sleep," she blurted out, unable to stop herself. "Just how long have you been awake?"   
"It's not an option," he said curtly. He was sitting up, back against the wall and legs crossed. "I've let myself doze off twice. I'm sure you know the result."

She took a seat next to the bed.  
"I will see what I can do," she said. "Are you ready?"  
He nodded once and moved forward so she could touch his face again. His feet were now on the floor, their knees touching. He swallowed and closed his eyes.

It was easy to find the anomaly. It felt no different than the day before and Loki's own mind was it's usual tangled mess of pain and anger. She wondered where it all came from. There was so much she didn't know about his past. Thor had filled in some blanks, but she suspected there was more, lots more, that they hadn't even touched on.

She forced the thoughts down and focused on the issue at hand. The foreign presence resisted her attempts at pulling it apart. It was different from anything she'd ever encountered. So was Loki's mind; he wasn't a regular human being, after all, but this was more foreign still.

Concentrating, she began to explore and untangle. It was hard to put words on, but the foreign presence seemed to be intertwined with certain parts of Loki's mind, in particular his memories. That made it harder to remove. She was used to working with PTSD and there was a considerable amount of that as well; she recognized the patterns.

His hand was suddenly on her wrist, squeezing painfully.  
"What do you see?" he asked.  
"I don't see anything, I feel..."  
"What do you see?" he repeated.  
"That this thing is connected to your trauma and your memories," she said bluntly.  
"And which memories are those?" he asked in a dangerous tone.  
"I wouldn't know. I can't actually read memories, just the feelings associated with them."  
He relaxed.  
"Good. Go on." 

Briefly she wondered why he didn't want her to see his memories, but put that thought on hold for later.

Relaxing and focusing she traced the connections and nudged one loose. It recoiled like a spring. That was easy. She moved to the next one.

The sensation struck her like a physical blow. She gasped at the intense pain that suddenly coursed through her mind and shattered every ounce of concentration she'd gathered. It took her more than a few seconds to catch her breath and speak.  
"What the hell was that?"  
"It's... I'm not sure, but they might notice what you are doing and try to deter you."  
"Why didn't you feel it?"  
"I did. I'm simply... used to it."

She watched him carefully and there was a tense expression on his face that could be interpreted as pain, but that was all. Used to it. She couldn't understand how anyone could...  
"You've had this happen before?"  
"I have," he admitted curtly. "Can you go on?"  
"Loki..."  
"If you need to recover, I will wait," he interrupted.

She pursed her lips and resumed the healing, tracing another string attaching itself to a memory. Loosening it she waited for the backlash. Nothing happened. She moved on. A dull headache was starting to manifest itself, but she tried to ignore it. Loki had it worse, she told herself. He couldn't even rest properly. And they were all at risk if his suspicions were true.

Somehow they gravitated closer again. She was vaguely aware of it but decided on ignoring it and focus on her task. It drained more of her energy the longer she continued and the headache was building till it was becoming unbearable. Something... or someone... didn't want her to do this.

When she finally had to stop it felt as if she'd barely made a difference. The more she untangled, the harder all the other connections seemed to attach themselves.

Loki was quiet through the whole ordeal. She had little idea how he perceived things, if he felt the same way she did or worse.

She withdrew her mind from his, but didn't move. For some reason she didn't want to give up this moment of intimacy, of feeling his skin under her fingers, his breath against her face. They hadn't been this close since... The contact awoke memories. Things she shouldn't have felt, considering the situation she was in.

_You're not supposed to fall in love with your captor._

But their connection complicated everything. It was the reason he'd abducted her in the first place, possibly the reason for the sexual attraction as well.

He had been a friend once, her best friend even, and she hadn't even known he was real. Then, when they finally met, he had changed. Something, and she still didn't know what it was, had impacted his life and changed him forever.

Still she had recognized him behind the hardened veneer, behind the anger and bitterness that threatened to consume him, the obsession with conquering a world. It was him. The voice in her soul.

In the end she had chosen to continue the pregnancy. It could easily have been interrupted; she had discovered it early enough. There were countless reasons why that would have been the best choice. Yet... She had been unlikely to ever see Loki again. He had been taken back to Asgard in chains. There was nothing, absolutely nothing, left beyond some sketches she'd made during her captivity and this. A pregnancy. A possible child.

You shouldn't fall in love with your captor. But she had, and she couldn't let it go.


	9. History

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When people have history with each other and it affects them in the now.

"This is Loki we're talking about. Some people are _not_ going to be happy to see him again. Hell, _I'm_ not happy to see him again." Tony walked over to the bar.  
"He doesn't seem to be much of a threat at the moment..." Steve pondered.  
"Why, because he's sleep deprived? Or should we expect him to suddenly get all domesticated and house-trained from finding out he's a dad? Want to be a good role model for his kid? I don't buy it."  
"We will have to bring more people in on it sooner or later," Bruce pointed out. "The longer we wait the more they'll resent that we didn't tell them from the beginning."  
"Fury is going to love this..." Tony said as he poured scotch in a glass.  
"Not to mention Clint and Nat."

An uncomfortable silence settled over the room as they considered their options. They all had... _history_ with Loki, some worse than others. Nobody was comfortable having him in the tower, only constrained by reinforced handcuffs and sleep deprivation.

"Alright," Tony broke the quiet. "We'll keep this contained a little bit longer, see if this old girlfriend of his can fix his problems."  
"I doubt she's a girlfriend, Tony," Bruce pointed out. "Thor said he hasn't seen her since they left."  
"Yeah, yeah, the mother of his offspring, whatever." Tony waved a hand in a dismissive gesture. "Thor said he'd return home with Brother Dearest once his mind is back in control, right?"  
"Yes, but..."  
"Where is Thor, by the way?" Steve asked. "He should be here."  
"Babysitting," Tony said, emptying his glass and putting it down.

"The issue here," Bruce said, subconsciously fiddling with his sleeves, "is that this whole... problem may not be over when they leave. You heard what Thor said; there are some seriously bad people, aliens, coming our way. Worse than those we saw three years ago. They will not settle for Asgard, especially since we stopped their attack last time."  
"Yeah, I try not to think too much about that," Tony said and reached for the bottle again.  
"I'd still like to call Bucky," Steve said.  
"Oh, by all means, let another supervillain into my tower! You can never have to many."  
"Bucky is not..."  
"And while we're at it why not give Loki free range on the floor? He 'doesn't seem much of a threat', remember?"  
"Bucky is recovering," Steve inserted with authority. "It would be safer to have him here to help if something goes wrong with Loki."  
"Safer for you, or for everyone else?"

* * *

She let her fingers slide over Loki's temple, smoothing back his hair. It was a simple, caring gesture that she almost expected him to shy away from, but she did it anyway, because she wanted to. Because it felt right. They might not be intimate anymore, but she _wanted_ to touch him like this, to carress him gently, for just a short, fragile moment. It had been so long since she did anything like this.

To her surprise he allowed it, didn't even comment on it. He kept his eyes closed, and for an instant she thought he had fallen asleep again. His breathing was not slow enough, however, and he was still sitting upright.

She had a brother who had once said that after doing military service you could fall asleep in any position, even standing up, and Loki was a _god_ so he might well be capable of a lot of weird feats. She was pretty sure he was still awake though. She traced his cheek with her finger.  
"Loki?"

She had never told anyone how much she had cried during the first weeks, how she had gone back and forth between hope and despair. She had agreed to see a therapist, but quickly given it up once she realized she couldn't talk about how she really felt. It was "wrong" to feel that way, a sign of the trauma she had experienced, a symptom of unhealthy emotional attachment to her kidnapper. And she couldn't explain how the connection worked, even to people who were familiar with her empathic powers. It was just too far out there. Too hard to believe.

He opened his eyes.  
"I suppose you are done," he said, sounding tired, or perhaps resignated.  
"For now. I need to take a break before I do the rest."  
"Then do so, and come back."  
"I'm sorry I can't go on," she said. "I would if I could." She felt helpless at the slow progress and his curt tone.  
"It's fine," he said without looking at her. "I am not going anywhere. Take your rest."

She left with a feeling of having been chased out. He was tired, she told herself. The stress and sleep deprivation would be wearing him down. 

It still hurt.

* * *

Loki was alone. He rubbed his eyes and sighed, resting his palms over his eyes a bit longer. The darkness felt soothing.

He couldn't tell if there was a difference after what she had done to him. Perhaps it didn't work after all. Perhaps it would serve for nothing in the end. A foolish hope that a mortal could fix what neither his own magic nor the Asgardian healers could cure.

He resisted the temptation of lying down and scooted back up against the wall. There was still some pain lingering from the healing, but it helped him stay awake, so he welcomed it. It also kept him from focusing too much on... other things.

On her.

_"You are mine."_

The sensation of her touch still lingered on his skin. Ridiculous. He had been careless once, let himself be carried away when believing this world to be lying at his feet, thinking he could have anything he wanted.

_"When I rule this world we will have more time like this."_

Swallowing away a bad taste in his mouth he flexed and stretched to get more comfortable. He wasn't yet fully healed, and sitting up for hours on end didn't exactly help. He didn't trust himself to lie down anymore, but he also couldn't get up and walk around due to the chain attaching his arm to the wall. That didn't leave many options.

Mortals. Thinking they could hold him like this. Like he didn't choose to stay while waiting for this whole infuriating issue to be resolved.

_"Now pleasure me!"_

He made a frustrated sound. The last thing he needed right now was to think about _that_ time.  
Forcing his mind away from the memory, and the reaction it ellicited, he leaned forward against his knees and started reciting every magic spell he knew, from the simplest to the most complex.


	10. Controlled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When your fears come to life.

Thor brought her home and waited while she gathered clothes and other items needed for a longer stay. She had left Arielle in the care of Bruce, since her daughter seemed to take a liking to his awkward gentleness. Arielle was usually hesitant around people unless they were especially inviting, or she found them interesting in some way. Thor was obviously high on the list since he'd taken her flying the first time they'd met. The others were still a little too scary to trust.

"Did you make this?" Thor asked. He had found one of the sketches she'd made years ago, a picture of Loki. "You are most talented."  
"Not really. There are a lot of people better than me." She struggled with fitting everything in the bag and get it closed. It was proving to be quite a challenge.  
"You loved my brother, did you not?" 

She stopped, searching for the right words to put together an answer. There was something about that picture, something loving in the way it was drawn, in the way it displayed Loki's features. That was the reason she had ended up keeping it out in the open to look at. Appearently Thor was perceptive enough to notice the same thing.

"I suppose I did. I'm not really comfortable talking about it."  
"My apologies. I did not mean to be intrusive."  
"No, it's alright," she hurried to assure him. "I just don't have good experiences with talking to people about this."  
Thor nodded and didn't ask further. She stood and lifted the bag, indicating she was ready to go and they moved on towards the door.

"Was Loki always like he is now?" she asked when they stepped outside. "I had a feeling something happened that changed him, but he wouldn't tell me what it was."  
"It is true," Thor said, a shadow passing over his face. "He... changed, grew resentful and bitter. He was gone from Asgard for almost a year, and we thought him lost until he arrived on Midgard. He has never been the same since."

She pondered this new information.  
"What happened during that year?" she asked.  
"I do not know," Thor sighed. "I regret not asking earlier. Now he will not speak of it."

He put his arm around her in a secure grip, confirmed that she was ready, and took off.

* * *

She arrived at the penthouse and went into her and Arielle's room to unpack while Thor went in search of the others. She hadn't bothered with much besides clothes and toys, since other necessities, like diapers, could just as well be bought.

There was a noise at one point, but she didn't think much of it, having enough on her mind as it was. Once done she walked into the lounge and stopped at an unexpected sight.

Loki was standing near the windows, slowly turning, taking everything in. The chain was hanging, broken, from his bloodstained wrist.  
"Loki?"  
He looked at her, but there was something off with his eyes. There was no sign of recognition, only flat observation. An uneasy feeling rose in her gut as she watched him.  
"JARVIS?" she asked.  
"Yes, miss. Mr Stark and the others are informed. They are on their way."  
Loki seemed to search for the source of the voice, like he didn't know what it was.

_Something isn't right._

And she had a bad feeling what it might be.  
"Loki," she tried again, mindful of keeping her distance. "Do you know where you are?"  
He didn't answer, only looked at her, frowning slightly.

She heard footsteps behind her, but didn't take her eyes of Loki. Thor appeared beside her.  
"Brother? What are you doing in here?"  
Loki's eyes narrowed, watching Thor carefully, perhaps assessing the threat.  
"He's not himself," she said with a low voice, hoping only Thor would hear. No such luck. Loki's gaze immediately skipped to her.  
"What do you mean?" Thor said carefully. She heard more people approaching and Loki looked at something behind her.  
"I think... something's controlling him."

Tony stepped into her visual field, wearing his Iron Man armour with the face plate open. He waved at her to step back.  
"Try not to hurt him!" she said.  
"Are you kidding me? JARVIS!"  
"Yes, sir."  
"Tell Bruce to stand by. We might need him after all."

She didn't like this one bit. Loki was virtually invulnerable, but he was wounded and she didn't want a repeat of the scene from three years ago. It had scared the hell out of her at the time, watching him being pounded into the floor.

Tony, Thor and Steve all spread out and approached Loki from different directions. Thor repeated what she had already told him, that Loki wasn't in control, but she doubted it would make a difference to the others.

"Nice and easy, Reindeer Games. Time to go back to your room." Tony moved closer, slowly and carefully. Loki just observed. Thor's attempt at talking to him met an equally bland reaction. When Thor reached out to grab his arm he suddenly came to life and lashed out.

Both he and Thor moved so fast she could barely follow what happened, but it all came to a halt when Tony's repulsor beam hit Loki square in the chest and threw him into the nearest wall. He remained standing, baring his teeth, while eyeing Tony furiously. It looked like he was about to attack... only to close his eyes and lean his head back, like he was suddenly overwhelmed with searing pain, and he seemed to struggle with remaining standing. A trickle of blood appeared under his nose.

When he opened his eyes again he looked confused for a moment, then offered a strained smile.  
"Perhaps you should take better measures if you wish to keep me confined." He looked at the broken chain and the reinforced cuff that appeared to have chafed the skin off his wrist.  
Tony opened his face plate.  
"Alright, show's over."

Steve and Thor brought Loki back to his room with little resistance. He didn't object when another restraint was placed on his uninjured wrist and attached to the wall. Neither did he say much when spoken to.

She was left alone with him, insisting on cleaning and bandaging the injury.  
"That is hardly necessary," he said.  
"No, but it doesn't hurt either."  
He was still holding a tissue against his nose, waiting for the bleeding to stop.  
"Then I apologize for the inconvenience."  
"You fell asleep, didn't you?"  
"I seem unable to recall," he admitted. "I'm only aware of... examining my surroundings like they were new and unfamiliar..." His voice trailed off as he was thinking and assessing the situation.  
"I'm surprised you can be so calm about having your mind invaded," she said.  
"It was bound to happen sooner or later."

She couldn't figure out if he really was so calm and resigned about it as he appeared, or if he simply didn't want to show how much it upset him. There was a lot about this situation that should be upsetting and he showed very little emotion about it.

"I need to go see Arielle," she said while finishing the bandaging. "I want to try to do another healing session with you later. Is that okay?" She tried to sound confident, but the incident had shaken her, and put more pressure on her to succesfully remove the influence from his mind.  
"Whenever you are ready," he said. He studied the bloody tissue before making a hand movement and have it vanish into thin air. "I will not be going anywhere for the time being."


	11. Miss Mischief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things are hard to remove, and someone cares more than he wants to let on.

Arielle's hair had a wave to it, just like Loki's. It was beginning to grow long and, since hairbrushing was a much hated activity, somewhat difficult to manage. Keeping it in place with elastics didn't work since Arielle promptly got hold of them and pulled them out, not to mention how she managed to get all kinds of sticky substances stuck in her hair whenever she was left to her own devices.

"What is this? Glue?"  
"I really can't say." Bruce looked as sheepish as a grown man could. "She was only out of my sight for a couple of minutes."  
"That's what she's known for. Give her half an hour and she'll wreak havoc on the world."  
"Sounds like someone we know." quipped Tony from the other end of the room. She gave him a dark look.  
"Will you try not to talk about him like that? She understands more than you think."  
"Daddy," Arielle said.  
"See what I mean?"

"I heard he took it well," Bruce said. "The news, I mean."  
"He did," she answered while trying to get the unidentified mess out of Arielle's black curls. "I'm sure you know the details, but he wasn't... overly surprised."  
"Hey," Tony said, approaching them. "Didn't S.H.I.E.L.D. ever find out about this? They would have been all over it."  
She felt her shoulders tighten.  
"I cut all contact with S.H.I.E.L.D. when I found out I was pregnant."

Bruce got a serious look on his face.  
"They would definitely be interested. The fact alone that human and Asgardian genes can be mixed...  
"My daughter will not be a guinea pig," she stated curtly. This was exactly why she'd kept Loki's name off the records and lived in chronic anxiety the first year. All it would take was for someone to look into her details at S.H.I.E.L.D. and decide to follow up on what she'd been doing since. 

"They've never contacted you after?" Bruce asked curiously.  
"They have," she said, "but I just say I'm not interested. It has worked so far."  
"That's probably wise."

What S.H.I.E.L.D. was interested in was of course to learn more about her empathic powers, but it didn't seem a high priority since they'd never been overly insistant. About once a year somebody would contact her to ask whether she would like to participate in more research, she would say no, and that was it. There was no indication that they knew of Arielle.

"We'll try to keep S.H.I.E.L.D. out of it as much as possible," Tony assured her. "Even if they learn of Rock of Ages being in the building, there's no need for them to know about you and... little Miss Mischief here."  
"Thank you."

* * *

"Tony says I'm Miss Missif," Arielle stated proudly.  
"Mischief, honey," she corrected.  
"Oh, did he really?" Loki said. "And what was his reason for naming you such?" Something in his voice hinted that he would like to have a word with Tony Stark for nicknaming his daughter.

The girl glanced at her mother, then back to Loki.  
"I got glue in my hair."

He ran his fingers through the soft strands and found a curl that was shorter than the others.  
"I see."  
"I had to cut it out," she explained, somewhat redundantly, "and we don't know if it was glue or something else, but there was no other way to get rid of it."

Loki nodded and let go of Arielle's hair. He seemed almost reluctant to let go, slipping the hairs slowly between his fingers till there were none left. Only then did he withdrew his hand.

"Hair always grows back," he told her reassuringly.  
"You get things stuck in your hair?"  
Loki smiled and bit his lip.  
"I did. A very long time ago. My mother was... not pleased."  
Arielle giggled at his tone.

* * *

"She speaks remarkably well," Loki said when they were alone.  
"Only with some people. I don't know what it is, but with you she speaks whole sentences, with some people she only says a word or two. And if she doesn't like someone she won't speak at all."  
He cocked an eyebrow.  
"Should I take that to mean she enjoys my company?"  
"That is fairly obvious, isn't it?" She settled on the chair as usual and waited for him to move closer. He looked pleased at her answer, though he was trying to keep it from showing.

"Are you always this good with kids?" she asked as she placed her fingertips on his face, feeling that soft flutter in her chest from touching him again.  
"Not particularly. Most are a bit too annoying for my taste."  
She pursed her lips to hold back a smile.  
"I can see that."

She had decided to try something new. If she made the sessions shorter she would be able to recover faster and instead do them more often. It should over all be less taxing and, hopefully, more efficient.

Loki sat with his eyes closed most of the time, only glancing at her once or twice.  
"Do you feel any different?" she asked towards the end.  
"Perhaps." He shrugged.  
"I'm a bit worried about you," she admitted. "Going too long without sleep is not healthy."  
He let out a dismissive huff.  
"My ability to remain awake greatly exceeds a mortal's."  
"I don't doubt that, but you look like shit." Ignoring his offended glare she continued: "Frankly you look like you did when I first met you, and that wasn't pretty."  
"Travelling through an unstable portal takes a toll on one's body," he said curtly. "One of your kind would not have survived it."

No, she'd rather do without that particular experience.

"I am making some progress," she said. "I just don't know how much I need to do before we really see a difference; whether I need to remove everything or just weaken it..."  
He gave her a pensive look.  
"Then the only way to find out is to actually go to sleep and see if it worked."  
"I'm afraid so. But it's too early yet. I want to do some more before we take that risk."  
"As you wish." He paused for a moment. "I notice your use of the word 'we'. I think it would be preferable you remain at a safe distance when the time comes to attempt this."  
"I suppose." She didn't like it. It made sense, but the thought of not being there to see what happened... If something went wrong... No, she didn't like it at all. "Just don't try it until we're further ahead. Please!"  
"I have no intention to," he said and leaned back, rolling his shoulders before rubbing his eyes. "Though I would prefer for this to be over soon."


	12. Calm before the storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A newcomer shows up and plans are disrupted.

"This is Bucky," Steve introduced the man beside him. Bucky smiled very briefly. The most noticable thing about the newcomer was that he had a highly sophisticated prostethic arm. It was very hard to ignore and, though she didn't want to be rude or anything, her attention kept skipping back to it.

There was something else about him too, but she couldn't put her finger on it. Maybe it was the way Tony eyed him warily, or the way he moved, the expression his face took on at times. Somehow he radiated danger.

She was used to Loki when it came to looking menacing, but this was something else. It made her curious and cautious at the same time.

Arielle kept her distance, though she was clearly fascinated by the shiny metal arm.

"Bucky is here in case Loki breaks free again and things get out of hand," Steve explained.

Yes, that wasn't difficult to figure out.

"Is it too much to ask that you'll be careful?" she suggested.  
Steve took on a serious face before answering.  
"We'll do our best if it comes to that, but our first priority has to be our own safety. The faster we can take him down the less likely anyone is to get hurt, him included."

She sighed. That was as good an answer as she was going to get.

Later, when she was standing in the kitchen loading the dishwasher and preparing a cup of tea, she almost jumped when a voice reached her from behind.  
"I thought he raped you."

She turned around. Bucky had somehow entered the room without a sound and parked himself at the table. He was holding her sketching pad with a profile picture of Loki at the top.  
"It's a lot more complicated than that," she said and fished the teabag out of the cup. Carefully carrying the hot liquid she made her way to the table and sat down. "He didn't rape me. It was consensual, but rather... messy. I don't know how much Steve told you."  
"Only that you're here to restore the guy's mind and that he kidnapped you." He made a nod towards the door. "I take it that the girl is his too?"  
"Yes," she said warily, "and they like each other."

He was quiet for a while. She took her sketchpad back and closed it.

"I don't know much about him," Bucky said, "but I hear he doesn't break that easily."  
"No," she admitted. "He's not... like us. I just don't like to see him manhandled."  
"You're empathic, they say. Like you feel others' pain?"  
"Emotions," she corrected. "Pain, fear, joy... Not always or with everyone. It varies. Loki is a special case."  
"Yeah. I can see that."

Green tea was supposed to be healthy. She hoped to build as much resistance as she could against the inevitable headache that would follow the next healing session. Her sleep would also be brief this night. Determined to make progress she was going to treat Loki every few hours and try to sleep in between. Damn if she was going to let this resistant _entity_ beat her.

It wasn't really an entity, or a presence. She couldn't determine what it was, because she had nothing to like it to. It certainly wasn't physical or self-sentient, she knew that. It just didn't _belong._

She had inadvertantly been staring at Bucky's arm again, and this time he noticed.  
"I'm sorry," she said. "I just haven't seen anything like it before."  
He smiled slightly.  
"It's one of a kind."  
"I sense a story," she said boldly.  
"There is one." He cocked his head a bit. "You might hear it eventually."

* * *

"Okay, let's do this." She settled on the bed this time, feeling a sudden need to be comfortable. She'd always preferred to sit crosslegged over having her feet on the floor. Screw manners, she would make this as easy on herself as she possibly could.

Loki didn't object to the change, only mirrored her position and faced her expectantly. He placed his hands on his knees where they were lightly touching hers. There was just a hint of a smile on his lips, like he was amused at the loss of formality.  
"The last time we shared a bed..."  
"Don't distract me," she scolded.  
"You do remember, don't you? It was the bedroom just down the hall."  
"Where you made me pregnant? Yes, thank you, I remember."

Quite vividly, in fact. She would rather not have that image in her head right now.

"Mmm..." he purred. "It was delicious."

_Lord!_

"Is that what turns you on? I know it's a kink for some people, but don't you dare pull that one on me again!"  
This time he smiled widely.  
"Still so feisty for a mortal, so unafraid when facing a god."  
"I didn't know you were a god," she objected. "I thought you'd escaped from an institution or something."

_And just what does that say about me? Uh..._

"Are you convinced now?" he asked, still with that infernal smirk on his face.  
"Do you want me to heal you or not? Then shut up and let me work!"  
He chuckled, but let her do what she intended. 

Towards the end he had somehow embraced her fingers with his own and when she loosened another invasive string from it's hold, the jolt made him squeeze them painfully. She hissed and he quickly relaxed his grip before examining her fingers for damage.  
"You are so vulnerable," he frowned.  
"Hell not. I've squeezed out a child between my legs, you have no idea..."  
"I'm referring to your species. Humans are such fragile beings."

The sudden explosion shook the floor and almost deafened her. It was mixed with the noise of glass shattering and someone shouting. And it was awfully close.

She got to her feet and ran for the door. Loki took a few seconds to wind the chain tightly around itself before breaking it with one violent shove of his arm. He was right behind her when she entered the hallway.  
"Remain back here," he ordered before stalking towards the lounge. She didn't need to be told twice, already heading for Arielle's room. That was her first priority. Whatever was going on she could find out later.

Arielle was awake, but more confused than scared. She quickly got her dressed while pondering where it would be safest to be. There were definite sounds of fighting, including gunfire, coming from the lounge.

Her hands were shaking from adrenaline as she peaked out the door. They could get trapped in here; the bedroom had only one exit and no hiding places besides the attached bathroom. Perhaps downstairs... Though she had no idea if there were also intruders on the other floors.

_What the hell is going on?_


	13. Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tower is under attack and Loki has something to protect.

It had been only Thor and the captain in the lounge when Loki entered. None of them seemed severely injured, but there were signs they had been present when the blast hit the windows and showered the room in glass and debris. The gaping hole it left behind didn't stay empty for long; an aircraft was quickly approaching.

Thor was calling for Mjolnir with a grim look.   
"JARVIS, we need everybody up here now!" the captain ordered, wiping blood of his face. The sound of running feet made Loki turn his head. It was a man he wasn't familar with, one the others soon referred to as "Bucky". So a newcomer then.  
"They're already on their way, sir. Mr. Stark is suiting up as we speak."

They all seemed too preoccupied with the incoming threat to question his own presence. It would have been foolish in a situation like this, but he didn't think it beneath them to actually try to order him back in confinement. Mortals were petty like that. 

A hatch opened as the aircraft neared the opening and revealed at least a dozen of heavily armed soldiers in dark combat garments, reinforced with armor. The overall design was no doubt Midgardian, but there were details to the armor that seemed disturbingly familar. Loki had seen it before.  
"Thor!"  
"I see it, brother."  
So the oaf wasn't completely void of observational skills. Good.

The fight was messy, but he had experienced worse. He kept close to the hallway, making sure none of the intruders could reach the rest of the floor. 

The attackers were strong and unusually resilient for mortals, but he was not as surprised as he would have been, had he not seen the armor design. Whirling around he caught a barely wounded attacker trying to sneak up from behind and finished the man off with a dagger to the throat.

The aircraft was turning around, positioning itself for another blast on the tower when a green mass suddenly pounced on it, making it wiggle. So the beast had awoken. This was getting better and better.

A sound from the wrong direction caught his attention and in moments he was out the door, dashing through the hallway. They were coming in from the other direction, probably taking the stairs from another floor. A cold fear gripped him when he saw them kicking in doors, waving their weapons at whatever was inside. Without thought he threw himself at the nearest one, knocking them to the ground.

Bullets were bouncing off his armour, and something else, some form of energy weapon that actually managed to burn some skin off his neck when grazing it. These soldiers were definitely more than what they appeared to be. Without thinking he took on another one, not daring to look into the room they had breached. They hadn't had the time to enter, but ricochets were as lethal as a direct hit, especially to a mortal body.

_"Humans are such fragile beings."_

He fought desperately to keep them off, keeping them from getting any further, but they just kept coming. Sleep deprivation and barely healed injuries would get the better of him soon; he was mostly going on will-power as it was.

_Thor, where in Hel's name are you?_

Almost as an answer to his thought Mjolnir hit one of the enemies in the chest, throwing him off his feet and into three others, before returning to Thor's hand.  
"You're late, brother," Loki managed to get out before slashing the throat of his closest opponent.  
"Better late than never, as the Midgardians say," Thor responded and attacked the invading soldiers with furious resolve. It was all it took to turn the tide.

When they were done Loki turned from the scattered bodies to look into the room, door barely hanging on it's hinges. It was empty, though the bed showed signs of having been slept in. He also recognized a garment on the floor. At the back wall was another door with a blackened hole burnt right through it.

He couldn't breath.

Like in a dream he strode through the room, reaching that door, smelling the burnt wood as he neared.  
"Loki..."  
He ignored Thors voice, touching the handle long enough to realize the door was locked, and ripped it open with all the force he still possessed.

* * *

It had gone fearfully silent out there. Not more shooting, or yelling, or things crashing. Just silence and, perhaps, the faint sound of voices. She wasn't sure; her ears were still ringing from the overwhelming noise earlier.

Arielle was squirming in her arms, wanting out of their confined position, but she woldn't let go just yet. She'd figured the bathtub would be the safest place to hide if any shooting would occur nearby and penetrate the walls. As it turned out, she had been right. The blast through the door had shattered the mirror across and left the wall scorched.

When the door tore open she jumped and tightened her grip on Arielle, getting ready to shield her with her body, but relaxed when she saw who it was.

Loki looked like he'd been through hell and back, covered in blood, hair in a mess, and with a nasty burnmark on the side of his neck. The worst was his facial expression. She'd never seen anything quite like it.

It softened as he approached them and dropped to his knees.  
"Are you unharmed?" he asked while letting Arielle climb into his arms, briefly holding her close before putting her down on the floor. She could swear there were tears in his eyes.  
"We're fine," she said, getting ready to climb out herself. Thor appeared in the doorway.  
"Are you both well?" he enquired, taking in the sight of the bathroom where fragments of the mirror were littering the floor.  
"Fine, just fine." Shakily she stepped out and put her hands on Loki's shoulders.  
"Are you hurt?" she asked, concerned that he was still on his knees.

He supported himself on the edge of the tub and got to his feet with a little less grace than usual.  
"I am well. I believe our enemy is defeated." He gave her an examining look, as if making sure there were no injuries, then headed back into the bedroom. She took Arielle in her arms and followed.

"This may be a gruesome sight for young eyes," Thor warned them as they approached the hallway.  
"She's too young to understand what she's seeing," she said, but kept Arielle from facing the worst carnage.

The lounge was in an even sorrier state. Not only corpses, but broken furniture, glass, and debris was everywhere. And much of it was stained with blood. Tony was wearing his armor, face plate open, as he was assessing the damage. Steve and Bucky were bent over one of the bodies on the floor, but straightened up when they entered.  
"What do you make of this?" Steve asked. Thor and Loki walked up to him. The dead body wasn't human. In fact none of them were at a closer look.  
"Shapeshifter," Loki concluded, touching the remains with his boot. "They return to their natural form upon perishing."  
"You've seen them before?" Tony frowned.  
"I have," Loki said. "Thanos has many kinds of minions. This is but one of them."  
"Great," Tony growled, staring at the dark hole where his windows had once been. "Just great."


	14. Relocation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of the battle.

She was treating Loki's wounds, both his wrists now equally bandaged, and a cooling gel being applied to the burn on his neck. The others were dealing with various injuries, but luckily nothing that was life threatening. They had all withdrawn to a smaller room that was undamaged and less exposed to the elements.

Bruce sat huddled up with a blanket over his shoulders and a cup of tea in front of him. Steve was rubbing his forehead, urging Tony to stop pacing and take a seat. Tony ignored him and kept pacing. Thor was entertaining Arielle, something he seemed quite happy with.

"Any ideas on what they were after?" Steve asked.  
"Me, probably," Loki said. "Perhaps they saw an opportunity to take out the rest of you at the same time." He shrugged, looking at his hands and fiddling with the new bandage.  
"Don't touch that," she scolded. "You'll loosen it."  
"I will not."  
"Any particular reason they want you so badly?" Steve prodded.  
"Well, since I escaped their clutches once, I would imagine they wish to set an example. To save face, so to speak. I cannot answer to whether they were planning to capture me or simply kill me, however." His voice was neutral, almost cold, as he talked about it, like he didn't care one way or another that there was a prize on his head.  
"You seem awfully calm about it."  
"There are few things they can do that I haven't already endured," Loki said stiffly. He was picking on the bandage again and she batted away his hand before adjusting it.  
"You!" Tony said, stopping and pointing at Loki. "I guess you've earned your freedom for now, but don't make me regret it."  
"My, how gracious of you," Loki said said with cheerful sarcasm.

Bucky came back, hair wet after having showered. He settled in next to Steve, eyes wandering over the rest of them. Steve said something to him in a low voice and he gave a curt nod in response.

"One would think you enjoy this," Loki told her with a tease to his voice.  
"Taking care of you? Well, you're not going to patch up yourself, are you?" She tried to apply the gel evenly before covering the wound with a compress.  
"It hardly seems necessary."  
"Stoic male pride," she concluded. "You're telling me this didn't hurt?"  
He rolled his eyes, but there was a slight curl at the corners of his mouth.  
"I have felt worse."

Arielle came up to where Loki was sitting, placing her hands on his leg.  
"Better?" she asked, inspecting the compress on his neck.  
"Much better, thank you," he smiled at her.  
"Why they hurt you?"  
"I made them angry," he said simply.  
"That's a real talent of yours, isn't it?" Tony snorted. "Pissing people off?"  
"More of a skill, actually," Loki said, examining his nails. "It takes centuries of dedication; you're nowhere near mastering it."  
"Son of a bitch...!"  
JARVIS interrupted:  
"Director Fury is on the line, sir. He has most likely heard the news of the attack."  
Tony swore.  
"Hold him off for a minute, will you?" He turned to the others. "Okay, here's the plan. We're relocating to Malibu. You three..." He pointed at her, Arielle and Loki. "...are leaving before Fury starts thinking of sending people over here. Point Break is going with you to babysit, I will not have you breaking my stuff. The rest of us leave as soon as we're done here. No arguments? Good."

He continued with giving instructions to JARVIS about a helicopter to come and pick them up.

There was little to pack; it didn't take many minutes before they were done and ready to go. Though Thor could have travelled faster on his own he opted to join them.  
"Would there be another attack during the way you shall not face it alone," as he put it, and Loki ended up rolling his eyes again.  
"It will be crowded," he objected. "You aren't built like a dainty maiden, Thor."  
"Neither are you, brother."

True enough. What Loki lacked in bulk he made up for in height. She had barely seen him standing up since she arrived and now she was reminded of just how tall he was in comparison to most people.

She and Arielle ended up squeezed in between the men, which should have felt weirder than it was considering they were... well, gods. One of which she had slept with to boot. 

_Is this what's normal for me now? What the fuck happened to my life?_

There was only one answer to that. Loki happened. Dark, dangerous, possessive Loki had entered her life and it had never been the same since. Not even when they were physically apart. He was a part of her life for ever.

Arielle was yawning. Hopefully she'd be able to sleep once they were on the plane.  
"What are we going to do in Malibu?" she asked.  
"Friend Stark has another residence there," Thor explained. "You will be well protected. If the enemy dare attack again we will be ready for him."  
"Always so eager for a fight," Loki mumbled, but there was less of the usual sarcasm in his voice. He was watching the nightsky with a pensive look on his face, absently fiddling with his hands. She searched his presence in her mind and found mostly tiredness and a little bit of worry.

Arielle, sitting in her lap, was holding on to Loki's sleeve with one hand as they left the tower behind, city lights glimmering beneath them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I'm ignoring certain events in Iron Man 3. The mansion was too beautiful to go down like that.


	15. A nightly talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams and memories surface.

Loki's lips were moving over the side of her neck, soft, yet insistant. His hands rested securely around her wrists, pinning them to the bed. His chest shifted against hers, skin sliding over skin as he moved forcefully inside her.  
"You are mine," he whispered before biting down.

She woke with a start. The remains of the dream lingered, leaving her with a feeling that was both pleasant and unsettling. The more time she spent around Loki the more her senses seemed to remember what it had been like back then. Memories were growing more vivid and now even slipping into her dreams.

Slowly she got out of bed and found something to wear, careful not to wake Arielle who'd been sleeping since they arrived. The mansion had several guest bedrooms, one more comfortable than the other. Loki had quickly found the best one and claimed it for himself. She suspected that it was actually Tony's room but they'd have to sort that out between themselves when he arrived.

She quietly opened the door and slipped out into the hallway, leaving it ajar in case Arielle would wake up and call for her. It didn't take long to reach the right door. She could hear snoring from a room nearby, the one Thor had claimed. The sound was comforting somehow.

She liked Thor. She wasn't blind to the tension between him and Loki, but it didn't change the fact that Thor had an attractive personality and was easy to get along with. There was also a caring streak in him, that her empathic sense picked up on. He felt safe to be around.

She quietly knocked on the door before her, figuring that Loki would hear it well enough if he was awake. If not... she was sure to find out.

Peeking in she saw him sitting in a chair near the window with a book on his lap, less dishevelled than earlier. His clothes were clean and his hair in order; there were few signs of the night's battle beyond his covered wounds.  
"Am I disturbing you?" she asked politely, ignoring the slight flutter in her belly at the sight of him sitting there. The dream was still fresh in her mind.  
"You're not," he said, closing the book and stretching his back before standing up. "I could do with some company at the moment." He said it with an insinuating little smirk, but she wasn't fooled. Her empathy told her he was sincere in his words. For some reason he was relieved to see her.

"I'd like to try again," she suggested, moving closer to the bed. Loki made an affirmative nod and went to sit on the covers with his legs crossed. She sat down facing him like before.  
"This _is_ a comfortable bed," she observed, feeling it with her hands. "Even better than mine. And bigger."  
"It does not compare to the beds of the royal palace of Asgard," Loki remarked, "but for this realm it is one of better standard."

_Royal palace..._

"So what is it like being raised a prince? Besides the luxurious beds, I mean." She kept her tone light, but this was one of the things about Loki she wasn't sure how to handle. She had only learned the truth recently and basically avoided thinking about it. The whole royalty thing was too foreign to her own life and experience, and she didn't know what to do with it.

Loki's face hardened.  
"Perhaps you should ask Thor. He's had so much more to gain from it than I."

_Whoops! That was a sore spot._

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."  
He stopped her with a hand movement.  
"It does not matter. Shall we begin?"

They did their session in silence. It didn't feel like she made a whole lot of difference, but there was undoubtedly some progress. At one point she touched on something painful and almost needed to stop. It wasn't like the sudden stinging pain she'd experienced when loosening some of the presence's hold on Loki's mind. This was more like an echo of emotional hurt; something he had experienced that still ellicited raw feeling when remembered.

"Would you ever tell me what you've been through?" she asked in the end, not looking at him, not wanting to be confrontational.  
He took a slow, deep breath.  
"Why do you care about such things?" he said, voice carefully neutral.  
"Why?" She hadn't expected that question. "Because you're a fucking mystery to me, that's why. I'm connected to you, probably for life, and I know next to nothing about who you are or what your life looks like."

Loki remained quiet for a bit, like he struggled with something.  
"I take it my brother hasn't shared his knowledge on the matter?" he said finally. Some bitterness seeped into his voice, cracking the carefully applied mask of neutrality.  
"Not enough. He told me what happened after you left Earth last time, but not much more."  
"As if he would know," Loki mumbled, looking away. Then he faced her again. "What do you wish to learn about me?"

She saw her chance and took it.

"About a year before we met something happened to you. I felt it. What was it?"  
He studied her before answering, then:  
"I learned some disturbing truths about... my family and my place in it. Truths that had been kept from me."  
"As in...?" She was on thin ice now, but it didn't _look_ like he was to become volatile. She braced herself, just in case.  
"That I was adopted, and not the real son of Odin," he said harshly. "That I had been lied to all my life, led to believe I was equal to my so-called brother."  
"Oh." She hadn't seen that coming, but it sure explained a thing or two. Before she could decide on what else to say he moved to the side, stretching his legs, and laid back against the bed, arms under his head.  
"There were other events at the time," he continued, looking up at the ceiling. "Thor was banished to your world for foolishly starting a war with another realm, and I was left to... clean up, so to speak."

She followed his example, but chose to lie on her side instead, propped up on an elbow.  
"So there was quite a lot going on?" she concluded, trying to imagine what it would have been like.  
"There was. I will not go into detail, but it ended with Thor returning, only to stop my attempt at ending the war he started, and him breaking the rainbow bridge in the process."  
"What?"  
"I could have ended it all, and proven myself in the process, but no..." Loki held up his wrist in front of his face, inspecting the bandage. "As I was hanging under the bridge I realized that everything I had tried to do was in vain; I simply couldn't win. So I let go."


	16. Past and present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The nightly talk continues and someone gets cozy.

_"I let go."_

It took a moment to process what he was saying.  
"You mean you... you fell?"  
"I did." He still wasn't looking at her, or showing any emotion at the subject.  
"As in... trying to kill yourself?"

So much for not being confrontational, but this... this hit her like a blow to the face.

"Indeed. Of course I failed in that endeavour as well."

She wondered if she would have felt it, had he succeeded. Would she have been unable to sense him anymore, or would she have gone on from memories, assuming it had all been a fantasy? She would never have known that he existed, that he was real and not simply a figment of her imagination. She would never...

"You can't be serious. You lived! That's not a failure."  
"A matter of perspective," he shrugged, turning to lie on his side. Focusing his gaze on her so intensely it almost felt intimidating, he continued: "I imagine it would have made things a lot less... problematic for you."  
"No!" she burst out. "No. I can't believe you're saying this. We never would have met!"  
"Not in person, no," he agreed. "And wouldn't that have been easier?"  
She swallowed and closed her eyes before speaking, forcing herself to calm.  
"No, it wouldn't."

She looked up when feeling his thumb on her face, catching a tear she hadn't been aware of shedding. Why did this make her so emotional? Why was it so damn painful?

"When I took the throne...," he said. "Well, in Odin's disguise... I could have gone to Heimdall with an excuse to look you up. Or I could have ventured to Midgard to find you." He looked past her while talking, absently keeping his thumb on her cheek. "I chose not to. I told myself that it was madness to get attached to a mortal, and that you were better off without me."  
"Better off... Do you know what it's like to raise a child alone? What it's like to have your neighbors looking down at you for being a single mother? I can't... Even if you didn't know, how could you _possibly_ think I would be better off alone? I loved you! I even told you so!"  
He clenched his jaw, still not looking at her.  
"Which was foolish, the way I treated you, used you."  
"If we hadn't been... connected already, maybe, but I am done with being told how to feel. Here, on Earth, there are so many opinions on how you're supposed to feel to be _right_ , on what's _appropriate_ , and I just never fit into those molds. I _never_ did, Loki, long before you came into my life. I don't care what it looks like in other people's eyes, I know what I felt."

He finally made eye-contact, somewhere during her rant, and he frowned at what she was revealing.  
"You were never afraid of me," he mused. "About your situation, perhaps, but not of me."  
"Which I should have been," she said. "And I should have felt violated after... that first night, but I didn't."  
"And why was that? I gave you no reason not to fear me."  
She shook her head.  
"I just didn't. I can't explain it; I just... maybe there's something seriously wrong with me, I..."  
"No!" he said. "There is something _right_ with you. You are not like the others, mindless beasts who only do and think as they're told."  
She frowned at his words.  
"This is my people you are talking about..."  
"So what? You are not like them. I don't believe we connected solely because we both have the ability to separate body and mind. There is more to this; I am certain of it."  
"Like what?"

They were interrupted by a sound from the doorway. Arielle had woken up and found her way to Loki's room. In seconds she was at the bed and tried to climb up. With help she succeeded and settled in right between them.  
"Well, that concludes that conversation."  
"It does indeed," Loki agreed. "What do you wish to do?"  
"I let her fall asleep and then carry her back. That's usually what works best."  
"Well then." He watched as Arielle curled up and closed her eyes, obviously comfortable. It was hard to tell what Loki was thinking in that moment, but he made no indication of moving away or changing position. Instead he ran his fingers through Arielle's black hair, curling a strand around his index finger and examining it.  
"You say she looks like me?" he said with a softer voice.  
"Very much so. You should hold her in front of a mirror and see for yourself."  
"I would not have expected..." His sentence trailed off, unfinished.  
"What?" she whispered.  
"It does not matter," he dismissed. "Merely a stray thought."

She would have persisted, but her eyes were tired and she decided to close them for a bit while waiting for their daughter to sleep deep enough to be carried. This bed was ridiculously comfortable, she would enjoy it as long as she was here anyway.

* * *

And she woke up to full daylight and a knock on the door. Loki was sitting up with his back to the headboard, one knee bent and a book in his hands. Arielle was still asleep between them, but had rotated a quarter of a turn and now lay with her legs over Loki's shin and her head against her mother's belly, drooling on the covers.  
"What do you want, Thor?" Loki said without looking up, and the door slid open. Thor stepped in and smiled after the first moment of surprise.  
"I see you had company to see you through the night, brother."  
"So I did. Is there anything you wish to tell me?"  
"Friend Stark has left word that he and the others will arrive after midday."  
"Well, that was expected, wasn't it?"

Arielle stirred and opened her eyes.  
"Foor!" she said enthusiastically and sat up. Thor beamed.  
"You see, brother? She does like me."  
Loki rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything.

They went to have breakfast in a spacey kitchen with ocean view, with Arielle happily throwing food, Thor indulging her, and Loki barely eating anything.

She approached him as he was standing near a window looking out over the sea.  
"What are you thinking?" she asked.  
"Nothing in particular," he said, which was obviously a lie. He'd been frowning for almost ten minutes, clearly focused on something.  
"You're not eating," she pointed out.  
Loki raised an eyebrow.  
"And it worries you?" he asked with a smirk.  
"I have one child to worry about; that's enough, thank you. I just wonder what's on your mind."  
"Oh, but your concern is touching." He reached out to take her chin between his fingers. "One may think you care for me."

She moved away from his grip with mixed feelings. The touch was as enticing as it was intrusive.  
"One may think you go out of your way to annoy people when they care about you."  
"Mmm... Indeed." He turned back to the window. "I'm speculating about their strike against us, and how likely they are to try again."  
"You think they'll find us here?"  
"Possibly. They might have found us because of what they saw through my mind when I was... under control."

That was a disturbing thought, but probably accurate. It also meant...  
"Would they have seen... read your mind about Arielle?"  
He delayed a moment with answering.  
"If they accessed more than my senses, yes. They would have seen you, and perhaps had the means to find out what you are to me. I'm not certain of the extent to which they've ventured into my mind, but it is a possibility, one we shouldn't ignore."

That was disturbing. She'd rather not think of the implications.

Something hit her on the shoulder. A piece of egg. She turned around.  
"Thor, if you don't stop encouraging her I swear I'll put you on diaper duty for the whole _day_!"


	17. Power

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That feeling of discomfort you can't quite identify...

"What do you need a bed for, you're not even sleeping?"

As suspected, it was Tony's bedroom Loki had set his claim on, and now they were in a big argument about it.  
"I require a place of privacy to rest and recover," Loki declared cooly. "This chamber is adequate for my needs and I intend to keep it."  
"You know I can have you locked out of that room with a second's notice? Or any other room if I feel like it. Hell, I can have you locked out of every bathroom in the house if I want to."  
"I would not recommend it," Loki said with narrowing eyes. "I am not completely void of resources myself would you choose to challenge me."  
"Alright, let's not get petty," Steve broke in. "Noone's locking anyone out of the bathrooms."  
"Wanna bet?" Tony said. "I have every inch of this house wired. Just come at me, Reindeer Games!"

It was entertaining to watch them, but nobody wanted things to escalate so a solution had to be found, one way or another.

She suggested Loki move in with her and Arielle, but he dismissed it as too dangerous, would he accidently fall asleep. Then Thor offered to share rooms, which Loki refused without as much as thinking about it. None of the still free bedrooms were to his liking, and she suspected this was more a matter of not backing down than one of comfort.

Someone suggested a break from the whole issue since it was still afternoon and hours till bedtime, so everyone split up and went about their way for the time being. She took Arielle outside to enjoy the beach and only went back in when they were beginning to feel hungry.

The house was so quiet you could barely tell there were other people around. Her own home was ridiculously small in comparison. Not that she ever could afford a place like this.

_Ugh, what did I just eat?_

Whatever it was it gave her an unpleasant feeling. Maybe the bread topping? She sniffed it suspiciously.  
Suddenly feeling dizzy she grabbed a chair and quickly sat down till her head cleared. It took less than a minute till things were back to normal, but the reaction mystified her. It didn't feel like actual stomach upset, more like ...

Loki stood in the door, and she only needed one look at him for the pieces to fall together.  
"Arielle..." she said, approaching her daughter carefully. "Go find Bruce!"  
Arielle happily obliged and was out the other door in seconds. Chances were that Bruce would wonder why the girl was sent to him and get suspicious. She could just as well have chosen Thor, but thought it safest not to mention his name while Loki could hear. She didn't know exactly how involved his own mind was, how much of it the foreign power could access.

"Loki...," she said once Arielle was gone. The table was still between them and she intended to keep it that way.

He only took his eyes off her to scan the room, returning his attention to her as soon as she adressed him. Suddenly there was glimpse of recognition.

_Is that a good or a bad thing?_

"Loki, can you fight it?"  
His hands were clenching and relaxing but he didn't move from the doorway.  
"JARVIS?" she began, but Loki moved too fast. There was no time to react before he was on her side of the room with an arm around her throat. Her chin was forced upwards, her back pressed against his chest. Digging her nails into his arm didn't help anymore than shoving an elbow in his ribs. Whatever she tried he was just too resistant to be affected.

She heard sounds, footsteps, but couldn't discern who they belonged to. More than one person, she thought.  
"Loki, stop!" she tried. "I know you're in there somewhere."  
"Oh, I'm here," a voice whispered in her ear. It was no doubt Loki's, but still all wrong. "You thought it was something you could cure? That it wasn't me all along?"  
His grip tightened. Steve and Tony came into view, telling Loki to step away and release her. He ignored them.

_I'm not getting out of this alive._

He started to move sideways, keeping her in place against him without faltering.  
"So pathetic," he mocked. "Unwilling to sacrifice one worthless mortal for the chance of besting me."  
"That mortal is about the only one here who cares about your sorry ass," Tony pointed out. "Not that I can fathom why."

Loki was close to one of the doorways when it was suddenly blocked by a familiar figure.  
"Let her go, Loki," Thor said. "You don't want to do this."  
"But I do," Loki replied, voice like venom. "I'm so looking forward to it. I could snap her neck right here and now, but what would be the fun in that?"

There was movement to her left, a glimpse of metal. Bucky? She couldn't turn her head to see, but it looked like they were surrounded on all sides. 

She tried to focus. Even if she couldn't move she could still breathe, that meant she could think, she could...  
Impressions of Loki's emotions mixed with her own. There was desperation, but also cold, calculating determination. She had more than enough physical contact, but this was something she'd never done before, never seen a reason to. It wasn't pretty, but aggression never was, and she had nothing to loose.  
"Do not attempt it," he hissed in her ear, likely feeling her intrusion and drawing the obvious conclusion. His arm pressed uncomfortably against her windpipe.

He was wrong. She wasn't going for the tendrils linking Loki's mind and memory to the foreign presence. This was something else entirely. She could read emotions. What she'd never done before was the reverse; inflicting them. Merging every painful imagine and memory she could retrieve in a few seconds she released them into his mind without restraint, not knowing if it would accomplish anything or nothing, just pouring it on.

The pressure on her throat was too much, her vision was fading. There was a weird sensation of falling, but she was still held against Loki's body so that couldn't be right.

The world went dark.


	18. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When it's all over and you don't want to let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Music suggestion: Fix me - Icon for hire

"You have to let her go, Loki."  
There was no answer.  
"Please, brother. It is for the best."  
"I will not."  
"There is nothing more you can do."  
"Leave us alone, Thor."  
He left.

* * *

Voices outside the door like they thought he couldn't hear.  
"You're leaving him alone with her?"  
"There is no more harm to be done."  
"What if it happens again?"  
"I'm sorry, Thor, but we can't trust him. We still don't know how much of this is really..."

Loki pinched the bridge of his nose. He was still reeling from the shock. He had had no idea how powerful a punch the mortal could deliver when using her powers that way. It made him wonder if she'd known herself. Surely she would have used it before if...

He ran a finger under his nose. At least he wasn't bleeding this time. Maybe because the hold had been weaker. He'd managed to partially fight it, stay conscious during the whole ordeal. It hadn't been easy. Fooling others he was good at; an enemy inside his own mind was a whole different game to play. It took immense concentration not to slip.

She was stirring in his grip, just barely. There was no permanent harm, thank the Norns, but what he had done was bad enough. What his body had done.   
It would not easily be forgiven.

* * *

Waking up was somewhere between painful and confusing. Painful because her throat and head were hurting, confusing because it took a while to remember why she'd been out in the first place. And why she was tucked into Loki's arms.

She knew his body well, just like that particular feeling and scent of alien leather. For a moment she thought she was back in the underground room, locked in and visited when he wanted a release. This place was brighter though. There was natural light coming in from oversized windows and she had a feeling of space around her that was different from then.  
"Loki..."  
"I am here."

There was something odd about his voice, but she couldn't pinpoint it. 

"Why are we alone?"  
"They are outside, appearently discussing what to do with me."

When paying attention she could hear them too, just not make out the words. 

"And why are you holding me?"  
"You were incapacitated," he said. "I was merely waiting for you to wake up."

Contrary to his words he didn't loosen his grip. She remained snuggly in place with his arm behind her back and her face tucked in under his jaw. Not that she minded, it was comfortable enough. It was a long time ago they had been this close, and even then... it had been only in sex or sleep.  
This was different.

She wasn't sure how, but it was.

_If I was just incapacitated they could have put me in a bed._

Yet Loki was stubbornly sitting on the floor with her cradled in his lap. That wasn't like him at all. There had to be a reason.  
"Why are we...?  
"Shh, rest your voice for now."

That was probably a good idea. Talking was a strain. Yet she needed to know...  
"Arielle?"  
"She is safe, I assure you."

That was reassuring. She had no reason to distrust Loki's word on the matter. He wouldn't have been so calm otherwise. There was still something bothering him though, she could sense it. Something was wrong, the way he was holding her, the wariness in his mind and demeanor.

She couldn't have been out long, since they were still more or less in the same spot as when she passed out, only sitting instead of standing. Not much could have happened in that time.   
"Tell me what happened!"  
He took a breath and swallowed.  
"I was on the coach; I would have fallen asleep. It was different from last time. I was aware."

Aware.

"Of everything?"  
"Of everything," he confirmed. "Your attempts at removing the connection appear to have been succesful thus far."

Well, that was rewarding in a way, that it made a difference.  
"But you had no control?"  
"Some," Loki said, and she felt him tense. "Not entirely." 

Having your mind violated could not be a pretty experience, she recognized that. Being aware that it was happening might actually have made it worse.

"I needed to... win time," Loki said, still stiff. She couldn't see his face but he was clearly uncomfortable. The fingers of his left hand, resting at her hip, were repetitively fiddling with the fabric of her shirt. 

A door opened nearby and footsteps walked over the floor, followed by the pulling of a chair, but whoever it was didn't say anything. She didn't bother to look, not wanting to move. Presumably they were there to keep an eye on Loki.

He lowered his voice.  
"I needed to keep them from... killing you right away."  
She froze.  
"Why? Because I called JARVIS?" That seemed excessive. And pointless; the attack itself would have made JARVIS alert the others.  
"Because they know of your attachment to me, and what you're trying to do."  
"Why can't they just let you go?" She cleared her sore throat. "Why bother with controlling you?"  
"For information, I suppose. But more for... demonstration. Thanos is powerful for a reason. Nothing, and noone, escapes his grasp once he's set his claim to them. He made me his tool once; he's just proving that I can be such again, whenever he desires."

Loki's voice was almost dreamy in it's detachment. She wondered what had been done to make someone like him "a tool". The memories he wouldn't share... The scars...  
"What did he do to you?"  
"Thanos bends people to his will. He sees potential, explores their weaknesses, and reshapes them as he wishes."

A reply that answered everything... and nothing. As impersonal as the voice that presented it.

There was the sound of footsteps again, and Bucky came into view, crouching down in front of them.   
"So what is _his_ weakness?" he asked.


	19. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some unexpected bonding and passionate confrontation.

Loki reluctantly let her go when Arielle came back in with the others, but he remained seated, quietly explaining Thanos to Bucky.  
"Are you alright?" Steve asked her with a concerned look on his face.  
"I'm fine. Just a little headache."  
"I would like to take a look at you," Bruce said. "Just to be sure."

She agreed to it and sat down. It seemed easiest and couldn't hurt.

"Are those two... _bonding_ or something?" Tony frowned, looking at Loki and Bucky, still sitting casually on the floor like a pair of teenagers, deep in conversation.  
"I have no idea," she said. It did look a bit weird. Loki didn't really do casual, and Bucky hardly seemed the type either. She wasn't even sure they'd spoken before. Something in her and Loki's conversation had appearently piqued the other man's interest, but she wasn't sure what or why.

Bruce was thorough, but quick. She felt a bit embarrassed about all the fuss, but couldn't blame them. It had been a scary situation.  
"You should probably rest for a bit," he suggested. It seemed like he wanted to say something more but wasn't sure how to express it.  
"I think I've had enough rest for a while, she said, letting Arielle climb into her lap, happily oblivious to everything that had occured in her absence.  
"Loki wouldn't let you go until you woke up. Thor tried to talk to him, but... Do you know what that was about?"  
"I don't really know," she said, trying to think while giving Arielle attention simultaneously.   
"When he was standing there..." Bruce indicated the spot where Loki was sitting. "...he suddenly just jerked and dropped, and then he was back to himself. I'm not sure what happened."

She hesitated for a moment, wondering if it was wise to reveal what she had done.  
"I did a thing to his mind, gave him a sort of shock." She didn't go into detail. "I guess it worked."

That Loki had refused to let go of her was interesting. She wasn't sure how to interpret it. As much as she wanted to ask Loki she doubted he would give a straight answer, and she didn't want to ask with all these people around anyway. It would have to wait till later if she wanted to give it a try.

As it turned out she didn't get any better opportunity. Loki kept away from her for the rest of the day, to the point she started thinking he did it deliberately. From what she heard the others were watching him closely, someone always in the same room as he was, and it was irritating him immensely. Bucky was the only one he seemed to tolerate somewhat.

She put Arielle to bed and tried to get some rest herself. It was early, but the day had been stressful and she hadn't gotten enough sleep the previous night, so she didn't bother staying up longer. Ideally she should have done another session with Loki, but he was ridiculously hard to get hold off and she didn't have the energy to chase him down.

_Just one night's sleep, then I'll deal with it. We are making progress._

There were voices arguing outside the door. Arielle stirred.

She got up to tell them to keep it down, but stopped with her hand on the handle.  
"... just because you're the only one he agrees with." It was Steve's voice.  
"It's not like I mind." Bucky.

She kept listening.

"That's not the point. We made a schedule so we could take turns."  
"You can do that tomorrow," Bucky said. "Im alright with watching him, he's fine with it. Since when do you care for rules anyway?"  
"When are you going to sleep?" Now Steve sounded like a disapproving parent. She held back a giggle.  
"I don't need that much. I'll be fine till tomorrow."  
"Bucky..."  
"I know what I'm doing. Don't worry 'bout it."

The voices faded till she couldn't hear them anymore.

Interesting.

She went back to bed and managed to fall asleep rather quickly, despite the thoughts and questions playing in her mind, and apart from the occasional nightmare she slept surprisingly well.

* * *

Once the morning routines were over and she'd arranged watching for Arielle she went to find Loki. This time she didn't care how long it took, she was well rested and the work needed to be done. What had happened yesterday made it more urgent than ever.

She found him out by the beach, in company of Bruce. Neither of them seemed to enjoy the other's presence and she wondered just how close the Hulk was to making an appearence. Bruce looked positively relieved when she brought Loki back to the house for a session.

They sat on the bed in her room this time, facing each other like previous times, but Loki was less than enthusiastic. He wasn't exactly uncooperative, but he was... absent, avoiding eye contact, simply going through the motions like a chore that had to be done. Almost like he was uncomfortable in her presence.

Five minutes in she had to stop.  
"You're blocking me," she said. "You're closing me off somehow; it makes this a lot more difficult. What's wrong?"  
He shrugged.  
"Try again!"  
"No, tell me what's going on. Are you upset with me? Have I done something?"  
"Of course not." He tightened his jaw, still not looking her in the eye.  
"Is there something I should have done then, that I didn't? I can't always pick up on what people want from me, so if I've missed something..."  
"Why do you think it is something you've done?" He was fiddling with his fingers, a sign she'd learn to recognize.  
"You're avoiding me; you act like you don't want to be anywhere in my presence. I'm trying my best, Loki. I'm sorry if it's not good enough, but it takes time!" She was close to tearing up, but managed to restrain herself. It was frustrating enough that the progress was slow, she didn't want to be blamed for it as well.

"I'm not blaming you," he frowned. "How can you believe such a thing?"   
"What else should I believe? You're not telling me anything!"  
He grasped her hands and wrists tightly.  
"Why do you even want to be alone with me?"  
"I... Why not?" Something started to dawn on her.  
"What if it happens again?" he persisted. "You're foolish to not recognize the danger you're in. There won't be enough time for any of the others to save you."

So that's what it was about. She should have seen that earlier.  
"Loki... It's not your fault."  
"And how does that matter? The result is the same, is it not?"

Okay. She took a deep breath. This was going to be difficult.

He was still holding on to her hands, and she made no attempt to remove them. It felt reassuring, less likely that he was going to storm out on her or cut himself off somehow. At least he wanted to stay in contact on some level.

"It's not your fault," she said again, "and I don't blame you for it. You did everything you could to fight it off. It _does_ matter."  
He looked at her in a way that could only be described as _haughty_.   
"You intend to tell me that you see no reason to shy away from me?"

_Why do you have to make everything so difficult?_

"I'm here, ain't I? I'm trying to work with you; I'm trying to _help_ you. Can't you please trust me?"  
"Why? Why do you pretend to care so much? So you can get this over with and go back to your life? You didn't have to come."

She had a sudden and very unbecoming urge to slap him, but managed not to give in to it.  
"You know why I do it! I care about you whether you accept it or not. It _hurts_ me to see you like this, and I don't mean the connection kind where I feel what you're feeling."

He looked away, probably not even aware that his fingers were digging into her wrists.  
"You do not have to do this." His voice was considerably lower now.  
"No, I do it because I want to. You _know_ that." Now her voice lowered as well. "And I don't look forward to going home, because I'll probably never hear from you again."

There was a stillness, a very quiet moment, before he suddenly let go of her hands and grabbed her shoulder and hair instead, pulling her closer till his mouth slammed into hers, ravishing it like nothing else mattered, and it was like three long years hadn't separated them at all.


	20. Resolve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long overdue embrace and a risky idea.

He pushed her down on her back, covering her body with his, but kept kissing her like he'd been starved too long and couldn't get enough. She laced her fingers through his hair, trying to kiss him back, but was overpowered by the very force with which he assaulted her. His tongue was pressing against hers, his hands ripping at her clothes, his whole body pinning her down against the bed. There was no way to escape, should she want to; she couldn't even speak.

When his cool skin met hers it was with a rush of familiarity. They had spent merely days together during his last stint on earth, but those days were forever etched into her memory. The way his hip bones pressed into her, the way his large hands roamed her skin, how his mouth felt... it was all there. The hardness, the softness, the taste and the scents. His hair was longer and she could feel new scars and barely healed wounds marring his skin, but it was still him. In everything that mattered, it was still him.

It should have been too quick, too soon for comfort when he entered her, but the sensation of having him close again was as arousing to her as it was to him. All she needed to do was relax herself enough to acommodate the intrusion; there was certainly slickness enough.

And it felt so good.

He moved fiercely, to the point she should have worried that something would break. Letting go of her mouth he buried his own into her neck, sucking at a spot below her ear, tasting her like he had done back then. It sent thrills through her body, making her twitch, and adding to the onslaught of her core. 

"Loki..." she breathed.

He groaned, clenching his teeth, totally lost in the sensation. She managed to bend her knees, trying to angle herself to make the most of the stimulation she recieved. It wasn't ideal, but it had been so long, even if she didn't reach her peak it would be worth it.

As it was he slowed his thrusts just enough to give her what she needed. Out of control as he seemed he was probably aware on some level, and he had always delighted in seeing her in pleasure. In knowing he was the one who caused it.

He pressed his mouth against hers again, muffling her moans as they become louder, more desperate. She could feel him tense up, move more erratically, and she was barely down from her high before he released, emptying himself inside her with a hiss while his fingers dug into her skin, holding her in place like she was something precious about to vanish from his touch.

He went limp on top of her, breathing into her neck as she held him, his hair soft as silk against her skin.

It only lasted for a moment.  
"I must not sleep," he murmured, pushing himself off her and into seated position. He proceeded to pulling her up to straddle his lap, holding her against him. "You are mine," he whispered, stroking her hair, caressing her back almost obsessively. "Mine."

She found herself holding him in a tight embrace as he did so, closing her eyes just to feel him more intensely. 

_Don't ever leave me again._

"Loki," she said when he started to relax and slow his movements.  
"Mmm..." He was nuzzling the skin between her neck and shoulder.  
"I'm not going to let you go."  
She felt him take a deep breath.  
"Taking you with me isn't wise," he murmured. "It will be dangerous in my vicinity."  
"And where do you think will be safe? They know me now, through you. Do you really think we will be safe on Earth while you're away?"

He was quiet. There was no denying the logic. If Loki's enemies wanted to get to him it would be easy enough to do so through her and Arielle.

His grip around her tightened.  
"I will not let anything happen to either of you. By the norns, I will not."

She let her hands wander, stroking his back, soft fingertips against uneven scars. She wanted to know what he'd been subjected to during his captivity, but on the other hand she did not. The emotional echo she had felt at the time, not knowing what was causing it, was a warning of what she would face.  
"There may be something we can do," she said, "to finish this."  
He would have noticed the tone of her voice, because he pulled back to look at her.  
"What?"

She hesitated. There was so much insecurity here, so much unknown.  
"If you show me what happened when they created the link, I may be better able to remove it." She felt him tense. "You would have to let me in. I don't know if it would work, it's just a theory, but I have sometimes... touched on it when working with other people. I just never went all the way."  
"Other people?" There was a sharpness to his voice.  
"When I did research for S.H.I.E.L.D.. It was around the time we met; it's why I was in the building in the first place."  
He relaxed. Somewhat.  
"Go on!"  
"It's like a backflow," she said, trying to find proper words to describe it. "I sense your emotions, but I can also effect them to some degree. It seems to trigger something, open up another pathway." She hesitated again. "When I attacked you... before I passed out I saw something."

His eyes narrowed. She remembered well that he didn't want her to see his memories, so this was thin ice, but the worst he could do was refuse.

She tried to explain the experience, which was more like a knowledge than a vision. For a moment she had felt something more than what she usually picked up from Loki's presence, or from anyone she'd used her powers on.

She had _known_ about another place and time, with creatures unfamiliar to Earth, and though she wouldn't recognize them by sight, she would know them beyond any doubt were she ever to encounter them again.  
"I believe I was in one of your memories," she said.

Loki pondered this. He was uncomfortable, she could tell. The whole idea bothered him; what she had seen as well as what she would find if they did what she suggested.  
"And this would work better than what we've done so far?"  
"It might. But you have to trust me, and I realize... that doesn't come easy to you."  
"It does not," he admitted. He looked tired, worn, and kept blinking like his eyes were too dry. Loki might be able to withstand sleep deprivation longer than a mortal, but there would be a limit eventually, and he wasn't faring well in the meantime. She found herself worrying about him, and it wasn't the first time.

"Think about it," she said. "We don't have to decide now."  
"So I will."


	21. Chilling secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for a revelation, and Loki does not look forward to it one bit.

She was outside with Arielle when Loki approached, Bucky in tow. Sitting on a blanket with her sketching pad, she looked up at the sound of her daughter's voice:  
"Daddy!"

Loki smiled. His genuine smiles were few and far between, but Arielle had a way of triggering them. It was a beautiful thing, she thought while watching them. Almost like Arielle had a healing power of her own.

The girl reached for him without hesitation and he delayed just a moment before lifting her up, touching his nose to hers. Arielle was delighted. She quickly climbed out of his arms and up on his shoulders where she placed herself securely, one leg on each side of his neck.  
"Sure she's not a monkey?" Bucky said, just a hint of an amused smile on his serious face.  
"More like a cat," she answered. "She likes climbing on things. And people."

It was true. Once Arielle had figured out how to climb she had had to put in work nailing all their home's bookshelves to the wall. The girl loved being high up for some reason, and had no fear of heights whatsoever.

"I wish to discuss a matter of importance," Loki said, his voice more serious than his apparence, since Arielle did her best to mess up his hair.  
"Okay... what is it?"  
Bucky stepped in:  
"I'll take her back to the house." He held his arms out for Arielle. "Come here, monkey!"  
Arielle hesitated, but eventually gave in and let herself fall into his grip with a nervous giggle.

_She's taking to these people. I've never seen her so easygoing with anyone._

Maybe it wasn't that her daughter was exceptionally shy, as had been thought. Maybe it was really a matter of environment. She frowned at the thought of her neighbors and their rigid attitudes. The sooner she and Arielle got away from there the better.

Loki waited till they were alone before speaking. He didn't look like it was a conversation he wanted to have.  
"There are certain things you need to know, and I'd rather not do this in front of everyone else."

Of course. There were cameras in the house, and the ever present A.I. She felt a heat graze her cheeks at the thought of what she and Loki had been doing in her bedroom that very morning. If she found a camera in there she would rip it out of the wall; Tony could complain all he wanted.

"So what's it about?" She made space on the blanket, but Loki kept standing, kept looking uncomfortable.  
"I will not blame you," he said, "if you hate me after this."

_Uh-oh._

"What have you done?"  
There was a twitch at the corner of his mouth.  
"It is not what I have done, but what I am, and what it brought upon you." He glanced towards the house where Arielle and Bucky were just disappearing out of sight. "You are not aware of my true... origins, I believe."  
"Origins? As in...?"

He stubbornly refused to sit down, creating a distance between them, and it made her all the more wary of whatever dark secret he was about to spring on her.  
"I wasn't born in Asgard," he stated. "And I am not Thor's brother."

Right, he was adopted. She knew that, just hadn't thought much about it. Thor always talked about Loki as his brother, and they certainly behaved like siblings, including the bickering.

"Okay," she said. "So why is that important?"  
"I was born in Jotunheim," he said, ignoring her question. "My real father was the king of that realm, Laufey." He looked out towards the sea, avoiding her gaze. "Jotunheim is inhabited by... a people known as frost giants."

That sounded familiar somehow, from her limited knowledge of the myths. They were known as enemies of Asgard, if she recalled correctly.  
"So you're... one of them?" she asked, trying to encourage him to keep talking. She still didn't see what the big deal was.  
"I am." Loki was picking on his hands, rubbing his fingers. His voice was cold and distant, like he'd deliberately shut down any emotion on the subject.

She waited.

Abruptly he turned to face her, then finally came to sit across her on the blanket, folding his long legs in front of him.  
"This is for your eyes only," he said. "You can hate me all you wish, but you will tell noone what I'm about to show you."

She agreed to that, curious and uneasy about what to expect.

He closed his eyes, slowing down his breathing. Holding one hand over the other he sat completely still; the only thing about him moving was his long, dark hair shifting in the wind.

The seconds ticked by and she didn't notice at first. Only when the blue color deepened did she realize there was a change to his skin tone. Slowly, slowly the blue crept up over his hands, continued in under his sleeves and eventually emerged above his collar, spreading further till it entirely covered his neck and face.

There were lighter markings, lines, but they only added to the otherwordly impression the color created. She had never seen anything like it.  
"Loki..." she breathed. "What are you doing?"  
He didn't reply, only opened his eyes. They were deep red.  
"This is my true form," he said. "Does it scare you? Repulse you?"  
"No... What do you mean 'true form'?"

His jaw was taut with tension. She got a glimpse of his teeth and they seemed somehow sharper than normal.  
"This is what I am," he said simply. "My Asgardian form is... a glamour of sorts, something I shifted into at a time I was to young to remember." His voice hardened. "You were lucky our daughter only inherited that form and not this one."

She was stunned, trying to make sense of what he was saying.  
"This is what you look like? For real?"  
"It is what lies underneath. You don't have to worry, however. I have learned to force such a change. Normally it will not happen unless I submit myself to severe cold. I imagine the same goes for Arielle."

She watched in fascination as the color began to fade, his face and hands returning to their natural apparence. The eyes were the last to change.  
"I'm not sure I understand this," she said, reaching out to touch his hands. They felt the same. "What are frost giants, exactly?"  
"A harsh and ruthless people, just like their world. They would rip you apart, most likely, would you ever set foot in their realm."

She didn't like the sound of that.

"Why are they called giants?"  
"Because that is what they are. I am... smaller in size, which is why I was abandoned as a young child. The king couldn't have an heir that was... defect."

That made her heart ache. She had a child. She couldn't imagine...  
"I'm sorry," she said. "You didn't deserve that."  
Loki huffed, looking impatient.  
"I am not telling this for some pathetic need of sympathy. These are matters you need to be aware of as your... as our daughter grows. There may come a day when she displays these traits. You have already told me she's insensitive to cold."

So that's where his cryptic behaviour came from when she'd first told him about Arielle; what he as well as Thor had refused to tell her.

"Why did you keep this secret?" she asked, eager to know. "Why not tell me right away?"  
He looked at her like she was mocking him, but then relaxed and shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose.  
"You cannot know," he said. "You simply do not understand what it means."

No, she was the first to admit that she didn't.

"It clearly means something to you," she said, rubbing her thumbs over the back of his hands.   
"It means you've been bedded by a monster," he said in a lowered voice, with defiance cutting through like a blade.  
"That's bullshit; why would you say that?"  
"You have seen what I am; does it not give you pause?" His tone was challenging, provoking. "Can you honestly tell me it does not bother you? And not only did I bed you, _force_ myself upon you, I brought the same wicked curse onto your child as I carry myself."  
"You didn't force..." Well, in a way he had. "Loki, please! Don't do this again. Every time I think I'm getting closer to you you end up pushing me away. _I don't care_ if you're from Jotunheim or Asgard, I don't care if you're blue or whatever, I just want you back!"   
"You should care!" he growled, seizing her hand in a painful grip. "Your daughter is part jotun; what do you think will happen when your people find out?"  
"What did you think would happen if the wrong person found out her genes were Asgardian? It doesn't matter! The mere fact that she's not entirely... _mortal_ is enough to get her experimented on; they won't care what kind of alien she is, only that she is one!"

Loki loosened his grip, but didn't let go completely.  
"You cannot remain here," he said.  
"Glad we're agreeing on something."  
He rubbed his eyes.  
"However you are the most stubborn, foolish..."  
" _I_ am stubborn? Have you looked in a mirror lately, because you should!"

They were interrupted by a voice, coming from Tony who was hoovering nearby, wearing his suit.  
"If you two love birds are done you need to get your asses inside; we have a situation coming up."


	22. Voices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Out of the sky and into the mind.

"What the hell is he doing here?" It was a stranger's voice that met them when they walked in.  
"Calm down, Legolas!" Tony was right behind them, face plate open. "He's the reason we're all here, so don't get your arrows in a bunch."

The man who had spoken looked hostile, to say the least, and the woman next to him didn't seem any friendlier.

Thor showed up, walking carefully since Arielle had decided to stand on his foot while attaching herself to his leg. Judging from his facial expression he found it thoroughly amusing.  
"Who's kid is that?" the newcomer asked, frowning. Apparently he hadn't expected to be met with children upon entering the property.  
"Why, she happens to be mine," Loki said casually and strode over to unwrap Arielle from Thor's leg and lift her up into his arms. Their similarity in looks was telling.  
"You're not serious."  
"Alright, we can talk reproduction control later," Tony interrupted. "Right now we have an unidentified aircraft moving towards us with an E.T.A. of... JARVIS?"  
"Approximately 16 minutes, sir. It appears to have slowed down slightly."  
"Which means it's getting closer to it's destination, and I'd bet my suits we're it."  
"They found us?" It was the first time she spoke up and the unknown woman turned towards her, taking in her apparence.  
"I know you," she said, walking closer. Loki immediately moved in, placing himself protectively between them. The woman looked up at him, then back at her.  
"You were his prisoner."  
"I was." She recognized the newcomers now; they had been there three years ago, in the tower when Loki was captured.

The woman's eyes went to Arielle.  
"She's yours, isn't she?"  
"Yes." She was not going to feel ashamed. People could think whatever they wanted.

Tony and Thor seemed to come to a quick decision; they were going to attempt to intercept the aircraft before it arrived. Steve, Bucky and Bruce were left to deal with the introductions and explanations.

The strangers' names were Clint and Natasha. Their hostility towards Loki was obvious, and she noticed how he kept placing himself between them and her whenever he deemed them too close.

"Stay clear of the windows," Steve cautioned. "If they don't manage to stop that plane we might have a repeat of the attack in New York."  
She threw an uneasy glance outside, but the skies were empty. It was a clear day, with only the rare cotton-like cloud obscuring the blue. It was hard to imagine something hostile out there, just beyond her range of vision.  
"Mr. Stark and mr. Odinsson have intercepted the aircraft," JARVIS informed them. "All attempts at making contact have so far been unsuccesful."

That didn't sound good.

Loki placed Arielle in her arms and led her to the other end of the room, as far from the windows as possible.  
"You will do whatever I tell you," he ordered her. "If I tell you to run, you will run; if I tell you to hide you will do so. No arguing, no questions; am I clear?"  
"You're clear. Don't worry about it." The last thing she wanted to do was to get in the fireline when she had Arielle to think about. Not to mention she was the one adult here who had no particular skills to aid her in a fight.

There was a distant sound of thunder coming from outside.  
"Sounds like Thor is trying to slow them down. Think he'll succeed?" Clint wondered.  
"If it's a Midgardian craft, easily enough," Loki said. "If it's something else, however..." He left the rest unsaid.

Waiting was difficult, especially since they didn't know what to expect. It was merely minutes, but felt considerably longer. Loki seemed especially uncomfortable, going from calm to tense quickly. She could feel the echo of his discomfort in her own mind, but wasn't sure how much of it was really her own.

Something came into view in the distance, but it wasn't one aircraft; it was several.

JARVIS filled them in the moment they appeared:  
"Mr. Stark is reporting that the target is being brought down, but has unleashed a number of smaller vehicles of unknown capability. You are adviced to prepare for whatever firepower they might bring."  
"Thanks, JARVIS." Steve glanced around the room, once again making sure everyone was safely away from the windows. The tension in the room was almost tangible.  
"Leave!" Loki said, a strain to his voice.  
"Loki, you're bleeding," she pointed out, just noticing the small red trickle beneath his nose. "Are they..."  
"Leave now!" he repeated, moving her forcefully out the door with a hand on her back. "Stay hidden till I come for you."  
There was no time to argue; she had to consider Arielle's safety first. Loki could take care of himself, or so she hoped.

She found a reasonably safe space for them to hide, but could still hear the sounds of glass exploding and what must have been gunfire. It was agony to not know what was happening. If they were found... if someone got killed... They had all survived the attack in New York, but what said they would be so lucky a second time? She held on to Arielle while closing her eyes and listening intently.

* * *

Loki was indeed bleeding, but quickly wiped it off before anyone else would take notice. He had time for a quick healing spell, but it did little for the increasing headache he'd been suffering for the last half hour. It hadn't bothered him at first, but once back inside it had intensified. Something was trying to force it's way into his mind, and he was not having it. If it was the last thing he did, they were not taking control of him again.

This enemy was better equipped than the previous, and they weren't shapeshifters either; their alien strength and speed were obvious from the start. So was their resilience and armour; the mortals' weapons did little damage. It quickly became apparent what their purpose was; to take them all out once and for all.

Thor landed next to the broken windows and threw himself into the fray with a roar. Stark showed up shortly after, making a comment about having his property destroyed again and beginning to take it personally."

The aggressors were fewer this time around, but way more difficult to beat. They kept gettin back up, and seemed not to experience pain, even with a limb severed. Loki was aware of drugs with that effect, and it would also explain why the enemy didn't seem to get tired.  
If this dragged on much longer they would be in a precarious situation indeed.

A roar alerted him to the Hulk. The beast was throwing his attackers in all directions, making huge dents in the walls from their bodies. It made him slightly nauseous, evoking certain humiliating memories, but he quickly surpressed the feeling along with the headache. This was not the time for weakness.

A voice whispered in his mind, becoming increasingly insistant. He blatantly ignored it and focused on the battle.

_You can save them._

Well, the way to do that was to eliminate the enemy as quickly as possible.

_There is an easier way._

He sank his dagger into an opponent's throat.

_Take charge._

Moving on to not get in the beast's way, he skillfully took down another before they could fire their weapon at the Widow's unprotected back. 

_They will listen to you._

"Brother, are you injured?"  
He impatiently waved Thor away. Of all the times the oaf would choose to be perceptive...

_Protect what is yours._

Gritting his teeth he kept fighting, the headache only letting up when the voice came through. It was tempting to let it in, just to get a moment's peace. Memories were flooding his mind as well; not images, but sounds and smells, the taste of blood in his mouth. Like being back _there_.

_Do you wish them to suffer the same fate?_

"I would kill you first," he mumbled under his breath. Soft laughter echoed in his mind.

_Your time's running out. If you do not turn you will fail, and everything you've sworn to protect will be lost, slowly and painfully._


	23. Flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When hiding isn't safe enough.

Arielle was restless, and she didn't feel much better herself. It was incredibly stressful to just wait and not be able to do anything, or even know what was happening. She could hear the fighting going on, which meant there must still be people standing on both sides. It felt like a ridiculously long time had passed, but she doubted that was the case; it was probably just her mind playing tricks on her.

Their hiding place didn't feel safe and she decided to find a better one, further away from danger. Asking Arielle to be quiet she took her hand and moved carefully towards the nearest stairs. Nobody intercepted them and they continued up to the next floor. 

A sound from downstairs made her freeze. Someone was moving through the space they'd just left. More than one, she realized as she listened, and the sounds they made were distinctly non-human. They were heavier, for one thing. Thor had a heavy walk, but these were not his steps; she'd recognize them.

She lifted Arielle up in her arms again, putting a warning finger over her lips, then moved away from the stairs as quietly as possible. It sounded like they had gotten away at the last minute; doors downstairs were being opened, one after another. She tried not to think about what would have happened had they been found.

They had yet to find a place safe enough when the steps from below were coming up the stairs. She had a feeling locks wouldn't hold up very long to whoever was on their tail and she didn't want to get trapped, so they had to find a spot with an escape route. Desperately trying to remember the floor plan she turned a corner... and stood eye to eye with a creature in alien combat gear. Before she could react it reached out towards them. Arielle screamed.

* * *

Loki could hear the order given to the intruders:

_Spare the woman and the child; find them and restrain them._

So the voice was speaking to them too; whatever drugs were in their system, they weren't merely meant to supress pain, but to make them mindless thralls as well.  
He knew why he was suddenly allowed to listen in to their orders. There was no doubt it was intentional, rather than a careless slip.

Little did they know him, despite the time he'd spent in their chains.

"I must really be important to you," he mocked the voice, "since you go to such great length to bend me to your will."

_You were never important, like you were never a true god. You're only a tool, meant to be used. That is your destiny, the reason for your existence._

Loki gritted his teeth at the sting of the words. Well then, if he was meant to be a tool at least he could decide what to be used _for_.  
He kept fighting, ignoring the voice, the pain and the blood that once more tainted his upper lip, as another enemy fell. Then he heard Arielle scream.

* * *

Normally people freeze when finding themselves in danger. For whatever reason, she didn't. Instead she became very clear-headed, all previous hesitation gone. She backed away, placing her free hand on a doorhandle and pushing it open. There was a balcony outside, but she barely noticed it's excessive size and luxurious design as she kept moving away from the alien following her. He was bigger than her in size, and even with a weapon she doubted she would have been capable of doing much damage to that body, armour or not.

"Assistance is underway, miss," came JARVIS voice through the system.

Yes, that was good and well, but she was already touching the railing and there was only so far she could back up before it ended in a wall. The creature was faster than her too, especially since she was carrying a heavy two-year-old on the verge of panic. There was no way she could get past, or even stay out of reach long enough.

She looked down. There was water below, but also cliffs, and she had no idea how deep it was to begin with. It was only a second of turning her attention away, but the alien was already closing in and reaching out to grab them, a jagged blade in his other hand.

She thought she saw a glimpse of Loki in the doorway, but had no time to wait. Holding Arielle as tightly as she could, she swung her legs over the railing and jumped.

There was a tug at her shirt, but it ripped and she fell feet first, keeping her body as straight as possible as she closed her eyes and waited for impact. It was way too high for comfort, so much that could go wrong, but it was still a better chance than being slaughtered where they stood.

Just before they hit the surface she thought she heard a shout from above, but then they were immersed in water and sinking fast.

It was just deep enough; they'd slowed down sufficiently when her feet hit uneven ground and she used it as leverage to rise back up. There was no time to think; only to do what was necessary. She was wearing light clothing, it didn't weigh her down much, and once they reached the surface she kicked her shoes off while keeping Arielle's head over water.

Something hit the surface behind them, but she had no time to turn around to see what it was. Arielle was coughing violently and that took all her focus for the time being. They would have to get to the shore. It wasn't far, but her adrenaline was starting to wear off and her limbs were suddenly very tired.

It came as a shock when someone touched her from behind and she screamed.  
"Calm yourself," Loki said, wrapping his arms around both of them. His upper body was naked; probably magicked his clothes away as he jumped, she figured.  
"Will you take her, I..." She swallowed, still trying to catch her breath while keeping herself afloat. Loki took Arielle out of her arms and held her steady. He had blood stains on his face, slowly dissolving from the water.  
"Are you alright?" she asked, wondering if any of it was his own.  
"I am perfectly fine," he assured, seeming almost amused. "I am not whom you should be worrying about." He began swimming towards land, keeping a slow pace to make sure she kept up. Arielle was clinging to him, crying, but somewhat calmer.

It felt like she had lead in her legs when she stumbled up on land. Loki pulled her close and she leaned against him for a moment. There was a cut on his chest, but it seemed shallow.  
"You'll have to go back," she mumbled. "They're still fighting."  
"I will not leave you out here without protection," he said. "It's of outmost importance that you stay with me now."

She didn't really want them to separate either, but the thought of going back in there... facing more of those creatures...

"There were only a few left when I went after you," he continued as he let her go and summoned his clothes. "I doubt there is much left to do, but the house will need to be searched for more of them." He carried Arielle with one arm and placed the other around her shoulders as they walked. "You were quite brave, I must admit. Utterly foolish, but brave."


	24. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for clean-up and some serious talk (again).

It could have been worse. Injuries abounded, but at least there weren't any known faces among the bodies on the floor.

They entered just in time to witness Thor slay the last of the attackers in an efficient, if not too pretty, way. Loki tsked.  
Thor looked up, frowning.  
"Where did you go, Loki? You vanished so quickly I didn't see you leave."  
"I had urgent matters to attend to. We need to make sure there aren't more of them in other parts of the building."  
"There are two more intruders detected," JARVIS informed them, "not counting the one mr. Loki eliminated most skillfully on the upper balcony."

Loki smirked at the recognition.

Thor looked at her and Arielle, confused at their soaked apparences.  
"What were you doing in the water?"  
"Long story," she said. "It seemed like a really good idea at the time."

Loki wasn't letting them out of his sight until the last of their enemies were dealt with. Even then he followed them into their room and waited as she got herself and Arielle changed into dry clothes. 

With Arielle asleep from exhaustion he removed his upper clothing and let his wound be attended to, not entirely without objection.  
"It is but a graze," he said. "I am more than capable of cleaning it myself."  
"I know," she admitted, "but I need... I need to do something to not go nuts from stress. This helps. Taking care of you... helps."  
"Very well. If it pleases you."  
"It pleases me." She worked quickly and efficiently, though her hands were still shaking a little from the aftermath of the events.

"You are much too caring for your own well-being," Loki said gravely.  
"And you're not? You came after us and took down one of those... _things_ , all on your own."  
"I am discerning in whom I choose to care about," he said curtly.  
"So am I."  
Loki took her jaw in his hand and made her look at him.  
"Are you now? And yet you keep turning your affections towards me."  
"Loki..."  
"Even claiming you love me, as if being bound to me requires such devotion. How are you certain you're not merely mistaking our connection for something else?"  
"I know what I feel." She kept meeting his gaze, trying to figure out where he was going with this. "And you mistook our connection for lust when we first met, if I need to remind you."  
"Indeed," he admitted, cocking his head before giving her a teasing smile. "Though I must say it gave me more pleasure than I would have anticipated."  
"The connection may have enhanced it," she suggested, remembering her own, unexpectedly quick arousal at the time. She'd never had such an intense experience with anyone but him. "Unless you just have a thing for the whole... you know, abduction and dominance thing."  
Loki chuckled.  
"Perhaps it is both, hmm?"  
She leaned back against the headboard.  
"Are there any kinks you don't have?"  
"We've only just begun to explore them, love."

She shook her head. With a sleeping child in the room there was little opportunity for that kind of exploration, but the thought did things to her that she wasn't sure she wanted to admit. Making light of it was easier.

"I'm not a kinky person," she said, a bit wistfully.  
"Are you absolutely certain of that, darling?" Loki's infernal smile didn't waver.  
"Yes. No... I don't know." She rubbed her eyes. "Can we talk about something else?"  
"As you wish." He reached out and pulled her against him till she rested her head on his shoulder, his arm around her back. They sat quietly for some time.

"Something is still bothering you," she said eventually. "I can feel it."  
"It's merely the lack of sleep. When I let mysef rest it becomes more pronounced." He gently rubbed his fingers over her arm.  
"No, it's something else."  
"It's not for you to worry about," he persisted.  
"And you don't think I worry more when I know you're holding something back from me?"  
He took a deep breath.  
"There is a voice... It cannot control me, but it speaks to me. And it happens while I am awake."

She remembered him bleeding before the battle.

"That's why you..."  
"Yes!" he interrupted. "It does no harm; I can resist it, but doing so causes some... inconvenience."  
"You mean pain," she said drily.  
"It is merely a voice, no visions like back when... when we first met. I cannot say with certainty that it will not get worse, however. That it won't... escalate in some fashion."

That was worrying.

"Is it the same... voice, as when we met?" she prodded.  
"It is not. I do not know what happened to the Other; he seems to have been replaced. I didn't see him during my captivity either. Perhaps he was removed because of my failure." Loki shrugged, dismissing the subject.  
She glanced at Arielle's sleeping form.  
"We need to deal with this as soon as possible. I just don't think it's a good idea with her in the room. I don't know what will happen when I try to enter your memories. It can get scary."  
"I'm reluctant to let you do this," Loki said. "Whoever is breaching my mind might be able to access yours. You being mortal leaves you unprotected against a considerable amount of danger."  
"We don't have much of a choice, do we? Unless you know anyone else who has experience with this kind of thing."  
He rubbed his eyes.  
"I will allow it, but at first sign of a threat towards you I will put a stop to it. Now take your rest; I will remain for a little while."

She let herself slide down to lie on the bed, but didn't sleep. There were too many thoughts in her mind to relax completely. Her body was pleased with the comfort though. She closed her eyes, and after a while she felt Loki getting up and leave. As much as she would have wanted him to stay, it was too risky for him to sit down for long. They weren't out of danger yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you don't know what happened to the Other, I suggest watching "Guardians of the galaxy" ;-).


	25. Recall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A run-in which brings up memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this looks a little weird, it's because I'm trying out a new way to format things.

Part of the house was still littered with debris and alien bodies, so she made sure to stay clear of it. Finding a movie for Arielle to watch, she couldn't help wondering how her daughter would be affected by everything that had happened. It was true she was too small to understand most of it, but there was no denying the scary parts.

"Hungry," Arielle said.

"Of course you are. I'll make you something."

Maybe getting some tea for herself would be a good idea as well.

_Try to live as normally as possible._

She walked into the kitchen only to find Clint there, wearing nothing on his upper body but some sturdy bandages. She had to pass him to get a mug from the cupboard and close up she realized what she hadn't noticed before.

"You were there... when Loki took me from S.H.I.E.L.D.!"

"Yeah... You only got that just now?"

She instinctively backed away, then scolded herself for it.  
"I... It was dark. I only really remember Loki."

She had few memories of that night, maybe because she'd been in a state of shock most of the time. Loki dominated the memories she had. 

Her standing eye to eye with him in the subterranean garage, recognizing him despite never laying eyes on him before. 

Being in the car seeing him aim the scepter at pursuing vehicles. 

Him pressing her up against a wall and demanding she tell him who she was. 

She had paid very little attention to the people around him.

"Can't say I'm surprised," Clint said. "He stowed you away really quickly once we settled in."

She could tell from his tone what he thought about it.  
"Why did you work with him if you didn't like him?" she asked curiously.

"He didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

Clint shook his head.  
"You don't know he mind-controlled people? I guess that's a little tidbit he didn't bother to share then."

_What the fuck?_

"I've always wondered," Clint went on, "why he didn't use that damn scepter on you, but it wasn't needed, was it? You were willing enough."

"I don't like your tone," she said, frowning.

"What did he promise you? That you would be his little concubine once he was king of the world? His favourite?"

"He didn't promise me a fucking thing! What's wrong with you?"

If there had been any tea in the mug she would have thrown it in his face.

"What's wrong with _me_?" he shot back. "You _willingly_ spread your legs for that..."

"That is enough!" came Thor's voice from the doorway. "You will not speak to her this way! My brother wronged you, but that does not give you the right to aim your wrath at the mother of his child. She has done you no harm."

Clint went quiet, but he gave her another disapproving glare before stomping out the kitchen.

Thor put his hands on her shoulders.  
"Accept my apologies for not coming to your aid sooner, and please do not take his words to heart. You are not deserving of such venom."

"Thank you," she mumbled, noticing that her hands were shaking. "It's alright, I just wasn't prepared. Noone ever said anything... showed that they thought..."

"My brother used his scepter to put Barton under his spell at the time. He has never forgiven Loki for doing so."

The scepter. Yes, she remembered that. Especially the glowing blue stone immersed in it's intricate design.

"Don't tell Loki!" she begged. "He doesn't need to know this."

"I agree," Thor said. "It is wisest not to share this exchange with him. Little good would come of it. Are you feeling better?"

"I'm fine, just give me a minute."

She put the mug back, not feeling like tea anymore.

_Is that how they see me? A whore?_

Thor was on his way out when he turned around once more:  
"I trust you are good for Loki. Perhaps you can reach him where I cannot."

She nodded and he left.

She rubbed her eyes, trying to gather her thoughts. She needed to prepare something for Arielle; just had to collect herself a little.

_Is that what they think? That I slept with him because..._

No, Thor knew the truth. The others too, though she wasn't sure how much of it they believed. It was the newcomers who didn't have all the details yet.

She wasn't even sure why it bothered her so much. She'd never been overly concerned with other people's views on her. Yet this... was different. Loki had led an uprovoked attack against their world. Not with a high death toll, but his intent had been to take control of it entirely.

She hadn't even known it at the time, being kept carefully locked up and away from all preparations. What little Loki had told her she hadn't believed.

She knew now. And she still wanted him. What did that make her?

And she _had_ been willing. Resistant, but not unwilling when it came down to it; when she'd felt the attraction.

_You're not supposed to fall in love with your rapist._

_But it wasn't rape, I wanted it._

_Even worse._

She suddenly felt very lonely.


	26. Whispers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Make sure you know who is listening before you start to speak.

_You think you can run, Asgardian? Like a whipped dog escaping it's master? He will always find you, no matter where you go, no matter how you try to disguise yourself._

"He's in your head, isn't he?" Barnes' voice cut through the voice and brought him back to the present.

"One of his minions, rather." Loki took care to sound dismissive. He was not to reveal how uneasy the voice made him. Keeping it out cost too much energy, however, and he had little to spare. It was better to just let it ramble, ignoring it best he could.

"You should let her take care of it."

"They might seize hold of her. I cannot let that happen."

Barnes shrugged. He was busy repairing the damage his mechanical arm had taken during the battle.  
"She almost knocked you out when you had her in a death grip the other day. I'd say she has a good chance of defending herself."

"The potential is there, but she's unskilled in wielding such power."

"So train her. You're the seidar master, aren't you?"

"Seidr. And her powers are nothing like mine; they aren't magical in nature."

"There should be something you can do."

Yes, there should. He just wasn't sure what. The sleep deprivation made it difficult to think, and the voice certainly didn't help with his focus. He had resorted to using spells to keep himself awake, but they didn't do much for mental acuity.  
Frustrated, he rubbed his eyes.

There were people talking in the next room; the widow and the archer. He listened out of habit, always open to valuable tidbits of information, even if mortals _were_ a dull and petty lot.

* * *

Bruce was examining Arielle to make sure there weren't any after-effects of their dip in the ocean. She was making a renewed attempt at preparing herself some tea when JARVIS' voice sounded through the kitchen:  
"Mr. Loki is having a confrontation with mr. Barton on the second floor. Your presence may be helpful in calming him down, miss."

"Oh shit!"  
She dropped everything and ran.

She found them on the balcony where Loki was effortlessly holding Clint over the railing. Bucky tried to reason with him and Natasha was aiming a gun at him, both which he deliberately ignored. A shot might make Loki drop the man, and It was not like it would do him much harm to begin with.

"Now," Loki said, "my beloved dared this jump with our daughter in her arms earlier today. She was just so lucky to avoid the cliffs and survive unharmed. Will you be able to say the same?"

She couldn't hear Clints answer, but it sounded more like incoherent cursing than anything else. It would actually have been funny, had the situation not been so serious.

_Did he say "beloved"?_

"I think such bravery commands a bit of respect, wouldn't you agree?" Loki's voice was sweet as honey but with a pointed undertone of malice. He was not playing.

"Loki, what are you doing?" she shouted, finally finding her voice.

"Merely teaching a well-earned lesson," Loki answered as he shifted his grip on Clint's legs, dropping him lower. Despite his casual tone his face was the image of cold rage. "I really should be breaking your bones first," he continued towards the man hanging beneath him, "but I gather that would diminish the mortals' new-found trust in me, and I'd rather not disappoint them for the time being."

She slowly approached the railing, trying to figure out what to do. At least Loki was using some restraint, from the sound of it. He could have done way worse, had he wanted to.  
"How did you find out?" she asked.

"I overheard a conversation," Loki said, "about something that apparently took place earlier today."

"Yeah..." There was no reason to deny it now. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I was kind of worried you would go and do something... like this."

More cursing from below, and she felt a very inappropriate urge to laugh. It felt surreal to have this calm and quiet conversation while Loki was holding someone upside down over a railing, completely ignoring the gun pointed at him. Not to mention that, however reluctant she was to admit it, she did think Clint deserved it.

_I'm a horrible person._

"I'm not blaming you," Loki said cooly, "but I tend to find out whatever secrets are kept from me in one manner or another. You may want to bear that in mind."

Tony appeared in the air in front of them, his suit damaged from the fight but still usable enough to fly.  
"Let him go, Reindeer games! Playtime's over."

"If you insist." With an amused look on his face Loki stepped back and let Clint fall. Tony caught him right before he hit the water next to a row of pointed rocks.

"You could have killed him, you know," Natasha said as she looked over the railing and back to Loki.

"Now, wouldn't that have been a shame?" Loki smirked and strolled back inside.

"He could have," she found herself saying, "but he didn't. And he didn't have to fight on the same side as you either; he _chose_ to; even got hurt doing it. Think about that for a second!" She didn't care if it was too confrontational; all the insecurity from before had suddenly turned into justified anger. It was with renewed confidence she turned around and followed Loki.

_Who are they to judge me? It's my life, not theirs._


	27. Glimpses of the past

Loki slowed down just long enough to let her catch up. He still looked angry as he grabbed her arm and dragged her along to the bedroom she shared with Arielle. Once inside he slammed the door shut and pressed her up against the wall.

She wasn't sure what to expect, but barely had time to think about it before he pressed his lips against hers and started kissing her ravenously. His hands went to her thighs, lifting her feet off the floor to get them on an even height, and he wrapped her legs around his own hips while holding her firmly in place between the wall and himself.

It was rough and uncomfortable, but she didn't get a chance to protest. Just when she thought he was about to rip her clothes off he stopped to watch her intensely.  
"Whoever dares judge you because of me... I will find them and make them pay for every word."

"You don't have to..." she began.

"Oh, but I do!" He attacked her mouth again while impatiently loosening her clothes.

It was useless to resist, and she didn't really want to. Loki in full passion was a treat, and they had had so little time to catch up on the physical part of their relationship. If he needed to release some pent-up energy she wasn't really in the position to complain.

"Careful..." she managed to get out, but he didn't listen, and she gave a grateful thought to the connection and it's ability to arouse her so quickly. It was still painful, but far less than it could have been.

He was groaning obscenely into her neck, pushing her harshly against the wall with every thrust, holding her so firmly his fingers were bound to leave marks for days to come. And it was overwhelmingly, shamelessly exciting to be taken this way. His grip was too restricting for her to move, and the disregard of her comfort after the scene at the balcony should have made her scared, but all she felt was want.

_"I'll never be afraid of you,"_ was her thought later, when he calmed down and rested his forehead against hers, a sense of tired peace seeping through their mind and bodies alike. Underneath it all there was a deep undeniable sense of trust, the same trust she held in her own person. Loki was almost like an extension of herself; he'd been there for so long she'd all but forgotten what it felt like being alone.

_Is this what it feels like to be soulmates?_

She'd never believed in such a thing, but now she wasn't too sure.

"Let me help you," she said. "Please! You can't go like this much longer."

Loki swallowed. He was clearly exhausted, more than she had realized. It was just a matter of time before he'd fall asleep again. Or lost his temper on someone else.  
"I will cut you off if it goes badly, if there's any sign... any at all, that something is wrong." He sounded resignated, too tired to argue. And he'd know as well as her that there wasn't any other way.

He let her go and went to sit on the bed, pulling her into his lap.

"JARVIS, is there anyone watching Arielle?"

"Mr. Odinson is presently entertaining her, Miss. They seem to enjoy each others' company."

"Good, tell him I'll be there in a bit; I just have something important to do first. Can you make sure we aren't disturbed?"

"I will inform the others of your request. Mr Barnes is presently located outside your door, would you require his assistance."

Of course he was.

"Thank you, JARVIS. Tell him not to worry, we're just going to do another... uh, treatment so Loki can sleep."

Loki made her sit between his legs, leaning back against him.  
"You require being close for this, yes?"

"The closer the better," she said and he secured her with his arms. It felt so pleasant, it was almost distracting from what they were about to do.

"Any sign of this going wrong..." he began.

"I know; we'll stop it, but you have to give me a chance to work. Don't pull out too early.

_God, it sounds like sex._

Loki chuckled in her ear, apparently thinking the same thing.

"When this is over I assure you there will be no pulling out until we're both completely and utterly done."

The words sent a shiver through her core and she blushed.

Closing her eyes she let their surroundings fade away and honed in on their bond. 

Loki's mind had always felt different from others'. She had attributed it to what she called an emotional signature; everybody had one and it was unique. It was something she could feel even without deliberate use of her empathic ability, but it became more prominent when doing so. Now she wondered if the difference had more to do with him not actually being human, if it was distinct for his species. There was so much to explore in that regard, so much she still didn't know.

She nudged at his resistance, knowing that he was reluctant to let her in. This was more invasive than their previous sessions, more revealing than just sensing his emotions like she normally did. The wall hardened at her prodding, but hesitantly gave way and she felt a flicker of defensiveness, quickly supressed.

A foreign voice seemed to resonate in her head.

_"Your attempt at resisting is pitiful. You will end up on your knees, begging for him to take you back."_

The venomous words were unsettling and she didn't try to communicate with whoever was saying them. Instead she let herself fall deeper into Loki's consciousness, letting it merge with her own. It felt pleasant in a way, being a part of each other, but the deeper she went the more discomfort she felt; guilt, self-loathing... justified anger.

A memory glimpsed by, a very brief one, of hanging over a depth. 

_"No, Loki."_

Something painful and dark was within her reach. She decided to explore it. Unpleasant sensations filled her mind as she let it seep in. Pain mixed with fury. She was on her knees, but not by her own volition. Something was forcing her down. It was intensely humiliating.

_Freedom is life's great lie._

Everything inside her rebelled. It felt like she wanted to throw up.

_Once you accept that in your heart, you will know peace._

She found it difficult to breathe. It was like a force pressing down on her, keeping the air from entering her lungs. She wanted to answer back with defiance but couldn't speak up, couldn't form the words.

_Your pride will be your undoing. Rid yourself of it._

Somewhere in the back of her mind she was aware that Loki was tightening his grip on her.

She was too hot. Somehow she knew this was somewhere else, in a small room without the open space around her in the previous scene. She was lying on the floor, struggling to breathe. The air was too hot. Her throat was dry. She had shed her clothes but it wasn't enough. Nothing was enough. 

_Tools need to be forged._

With effort she reminded herself this wasn't real; it was memory. It had already happened. And not to her.

There were two voices, one then and one now. She tried to ignore the now one for the time being. First she needed to find the threads that tied to the past.

An intense pain shot through her temple.

_Your attempt at resisting is pathetic._

The link was beginning to take form. It origined with the voice from then, who's owner must have been the one creating it. Then it was reinforced and intertwined with another. The links were kept alive with a strange energy that felt like nothing she had ever encountered. Something that wasn't present anymore, yet had left behind enough power to maintain the contact. If she could break it... 

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a hand closed around her throat.


	28. Silent Battle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The most powerful battles happen within you.

Loki felt it the moment it happened, cursing himself for having allowed it all. Sharing his worst memories was bad enough; he'd rather not have exposed his humiliation if it could at all have been avoided. This, however, was worse.

With their minds connected he felt it as clearly as she did; the invasive, merciless grip of a hand around his throat. It was mere illusion of course, a translation of psychic power into physical sensation, but it didn't make it any less real.

_Let her go!_

_And why would I? She's precious to you, is she not?_

The voice was taunting him, mocking his sentiment, his weakness.

_She'd be of little use to you once dead._

_You still haven't learned, Asgardian? Time passes slowly when waiting for death. One would think you of all would know that._

Oh, he knew too well. Gritting his teeth he forced himself to remain focused.

_Then what will you have of me? Are you trying to prove yourself to him by making me his tool once again? Are you going to crawl before the Titan's feet while presenting me as your gift, hoping he'll be impressed?_

Claws were digging into his neck, followed by a sensation of blood trickling down his collarbone.

_"Watch your words, failed king. You will always be another's pawn, however much you long for greatness._

_And you will not?_

Loki laughed dismissively.

_We are both pawns,_ he taunted. _You no less than I. He uses all as he sees fit; you are merely too blind to see it. So pathetic, kneeling at your master's feet, hoping for scraps._

The voice hissed.

_At least I'm not being tossed to the beasts to toy with till they rip me apart. Or have you forgotten? Perhaps your wounds healed so fast you no longer remember. It is useful, such a capability to heal, such resilience. It makes for such... lengthy entertainment._

Loki tightened his fists. 

_Yet I am free of his chains while you willfully wear them._

_You will never be free!_

The voice echoed through his very bones, not giving him a chance to answer before continuing:

_You required help to flee, too weak to save yourself. Just like you're too weak now, relying on a petty mortal. Who will aid you when there's noone left?_

* * *

The feeling of clawed fingers was still on her throat, but the voice seemed focused on Loki more than on her. It was hard to tell for sure, since his consciousness melted into hers and there was no longer a clear line between them. 

The voice was overpowering, and not like anything she'd encountered before. Nothing like a human mind at all. She couldn't just break free or block the presence.

Struggling against the sensation of being choked she kept examining the link and it's strange energy. Loki's memories had unsettled her, and she could feel the raw emotion of his growing rage as the alien voice poked at it. It fed into her own.

The voice, however, was draining her. The headache was coming back with a vengeance, making it hard to keep her focus. This being was way too powerful, too practiced, to fight. If she didn't break the connection soon she'd lose.

Allowing everything else to fall away she pulled together all the emotional energy she could muster; Loki's, her own, the feelings his memories had induced in her, whatever she could find, and released it towards the voice.

* * *

_Who will protect them when you can't? A mortal and a child, so precious yet so vulnerable. You are already imagining what could happen to them; it haunts you, weakens you, distracts you from your goal. You fear being the cause of their demise, like you were the cause of hers."_

"Enough!" Loki snarled out loud, unable to keep his composure anymore. He wanted to reach through the link, through space, and rip apart whoever was at the other end. He wanted...

The sensation hit him like a wall.

It wasn't like last time; he wasn't the target, but the recoil of the attack still sent him reeling. It felt like a silent explosion going off in his mind. She must have used a lot more force this time.

Mortal or not, there was a power she had barely begun to tap into.

Worried, he cupped her face with one hand, listening to her breathing.

"I'm fine," she said, leaning into his hand. "Just give me a moment."

Carefully he shifted her around till she was sideways in his lap and he could see her face.  
"The voice is gone," he said. "I can't tell if it will last but for now it's gone. We have a respite."

"Good." She closed her eyes, leaning against his chest.

There were too many feelings to sort out, but most of all he felt relief. Their experiment could have ended a lot worse. It had been foolish to allow it; he should have known better. If he just hadn't been so tired...

"You should try to sleep," she said. "We need to know if it worked."

"When I'm alone. It will be too dangerous otherwise." He kept holding her close, not wanting to let go.

"What did he mean? That you were the cause of someone's demise?"

Loki stiffened.  
"My mother," he said. "She... It was my fault she died."

"I'm sorry."

There was a knock on the door and Thor entered with a restless Arielle on his arm.  
"I was told you were done."

Yes, of course. The artificial voice.

"We are. For now."

* * *

Arielle seemed ready to sleep as well; it was well over her naptime with everything that had happened. She felt a sudden stab of guilt for neglecting her daughter. Nothing was normal these days.

She glanced back at Loki who was making himself comfortable on the bed. She would have liked to join him, stay close to him right now, but it was too risky. They needed to be sure the link was broken.

_Will we ever be able to sleep together again?_

They hadn't done so since the days he'd kept her prisoner. Such a normal, basic thing... and the one thing they couldn't do.

"Somebody needs to keep watching him," she told Thor and Bucky. "We don't know for sure if it worked. There's only one way to find out."

She left them with Loki and went to find another bedroom for Arielle. Once the girl was asleep she tried to relax but her thoughts wouldn't wind down.

_What if it didn't work?_

_What if it never works? No matter what we do?_

She winced at the headache. It was still there, and if it followed its usual pattern it would persist for another few hours.

_What if he ends up in their control for good?_

Loki's memories were painful. Her heart ached over what he'd been through. And he hadn't wanted to show her. Too proud, too embarrassed. Not wanting pity.

_What if...?_


	29. Sleep and Discussions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Loki sleeps, serious talk is happening, about the past as well as the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is nearing its end. I expect one or maybe two more chapters before it's wrapped up. Thank you to everyone who've kept reading thus far.

She woke up from Arielle crawling over her and giggling.

"Mummy sleep."

"Yes, mummy sleep." She sat up. "I guess I dozed off. Are you hungry?"

"Nack time!"

"Alright." She got off the bed and took Arielle's hand. "Snack time it is. Let's find our way to the kitchen."

"Ice cream," Arielle said when they arrived and the freezer came into view.

"No, we need something else, something healthy... Has Thor been giving you ice cream?"

"Ion man."

"Tony's been giving you ice cream? How much?"

"Lots!" Arielle beamed.

"God! People are spoiling you in this house."

She brought out something decently healthy and decidedly sugar-free for both of them. She only now realized how hungry she was, couldn't even remember when she'd last eaten.

"JARVIS? How is Loki doing?"

"He has been asleep for one hour and twenty-three minutes without any major disturbances, Miss. Mr. Odinsson is presently keeping watch over him, should anything happen."

"Thank you." That was promising. Very promising, in fact. "What do you mean 'major'? Has there been any minor ones?"

"Some restlessness has occurred, most likely from dreaming; that is all."

Well, that was to be expected. It would be a miracle if Loki could sleep completely without nightmares after everything he'd been through.

_"At least I'm not being tossed to the beasts to toy with till they rip me apart."_

She wondered what that meant, not all that sure she wanted to know.

Swallowing a pill for her headache, then another one for good measure, she finished her meal and put the dishes in the dishwasher.  
"I'm going to check in on daddy, but first I want to check your diaper," she said.

"Don't need."

"Yes, I do. You still forget to tell me when you need to go."

* * *

Thor was in the room, not outside it as expected. He reminded her of a caged animal where he stood by the window, tiredness and worry all too noticeable in his features.

"How is he?" she asked as she stepped inside, keeping her voice low.

"So far, well. Whatever it was you did... it appears to have worked."

"I hope so."

They watched Loki on the bed, his breathing slow and even, face more peaceful than she'd seen it since she first arrived at the tower. He hadn't bothered getting undressed and slipping under the covers, only curled up on his side with a hand under his cheek. Like a child, she thought. Though there was nothing child-like about Loki. He was presumably young with Asgardian standards, but he had more life experience than she would ever have.

She couldn't imagine living that long.

She couldn't imagine the pain he'd been through.

Thor followed her outside so they could talk freely.  
"What you've done for Loki... I cannot begin to express my gratitude."

"It's not necessary," she said, feeling embarrassed, "and we don't know for sure yet. There might be more to do."

"It is the first time he'd been able to rest undisturbed since freed from his capturers."

She nodded at that.

"I felt some... really disturbing things when I went into his memories," she said, not sure how much she should reveal.

Thor looked grim.  
"When I tracked him down... he was harshly treated, only kept alive so they could torment him. He will not speak of what he endured but I saw the state he was in. There is little doubt that he suffered greatly."

She remembered her own reaction when pulling the covers off Loki that first evening.  
"I've seen the wounds, but they seemed to be healing. I take it they were worse when you found him?"

"A lot worse. He needed to rest and recover but we soon found out that he wasn't allowed to sleep. I decided to bring him here since our healers couldn't help. My hope was that you would be willing, perhaps, despite all he did to you."

That was quite a leap of faith, she thought. Thor must have been desperate.

"Some of it went further back," she said. "What I sensed... it happened years ago. I think, before we met."

"He's never spoken of what took place during the year he went missing, and I admit I paid little heed. I was less than forgiving, thinking it was all poor choices on Loki's part."

"But you don't anymore?"

"What I saw when I found him told me there's more to the story than meets the eye."

She pondered that.  
"Maybe he didn't have much choice," she said.

* * *

Loki slept as the hours went by. Bucky and Thor took turns watching him. Everyone else was on edge, expecting something to happen, but as time passed they began to relax.

"So, you're going back to Asgard?" Steve brought the subject up as they were gathered in the kitchen after dinner, the only ones missing being Loki and Bucky.

"As soon as Loki is ready to travel," Thor confirmed. "We need to prepare for what is coming and find out everything we can about how to defend ourselves against this threat."

"What if they decide to attack here first?" Bruce said. "They've already tried twice and we could barely hold them off."

"We are hoping they will be less interested in your realm once our presence here is no longer detected. They will eventually come for us all, but this will give you some time. They are most likely going to launch their first large-scale attack against Asgard."

"Unless they think Earth is an easy win and just start here," Tony pointed out.

"It is a possibility," Thor said, looking grave, "but one we can't wager on. Our best chance of defending Midgard stands with what preparations we can make from Asgard. We don't wish to abandon you to your fate; I give my word that you will not face this alone when the time comes."

Tony rubbed the bridge of his nose.  
"Yeah, I don't doubt your word and all that, but what about Reindeer Games? How sure are you he's going to side with you, with _us_ , when it comes down to it?"

"Loki has no love for the Mad Titan and his minions," Thor said. "If you had seen how they treated him for failing them, you wouldn't question where his loyalties lie.

"No offense, big guy, but he's sided with them once before and if they could convince him once, what guarantees do we have that it won't happen again?"

Standing to the side with Arielle, she cleared her throat in a not-so-subtle way to gain their attention.  
"I don't think you need to worry. Loki kept fighting them even when they took control of him. If the link is really gone, he has no reason to do what they want."

"He tried to kill you," Natasha pointed out.

" _They_ tried to make him kill me," she corrected. "He fought it. You don't have to believe me; I'm just telling it as it is." She ran her fingers through Arielle's black curls, the contact helping her stay calm as she stood her ground.

"You are going with him, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am. We both are."

Clint looked like he was about to say something but changed his mind. There was silence for a short while, everyone pondering what had been said.

"So you both trust him?" Steve said, looking from her to Thor.

"We do," Thor confirmed. "Loki does things his own way but in this... I am more than confident we are on the same side."

"What if they try to use you as leverage?" Natasha looked at her. "Or the girl?"

"They've already tried, I think." She wasn't sure how much to reveal of what she'd seen when entering Loki's mind. "That's why we need to go with him. We will be safer wherever Loki is. Here we'll be virtually unprotected. No offense, but..."

"None taken," Tony said, emptying out the last of his coffee. "You should get little Miss Mischief out of here anyway before SH.I.E.L.D. shows up and begins asking questions. They may want to keep her."

"Keep her?" Steve frowned.

"For research," Bruce said. "Alien DNA mixed with human. They'll want to study her."

"Loki would never allow it," Thor said, "and neither would I."

"You're going to raise her in Asgard?" Natasha asked.

"If we all survive this," she said, lifting Arielle who was getting restless and trying to climb up on the counter. "I don't see a future for us here, in any case."

As Arielle grew older, it would be more and more obvious that she wasn't all human. They couldn't hide the truth forever. They shouldn't have to.

"I don't know if Asgard will be better," she added, "but at least we'll all be together. That's what matters."


	30. Called Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the time comes... will they be ready?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter. Thank you so much to all of you who have followed this story and let me know how you feel about it. It's a privilege to write for you, guys.

"Miss, Mr. Barnes wishes me to inform you that Mr. Loki is awake and asking for you."

_Barnes, who? Oh, right. Bucky._

"I'll be there in a moment. Thanks, JARVIS."

She had been awake for some time. Ever since Thor dropped in, to be exact. It was his bedroom they were currently residing in but he had spent the first half of the night watching Loki and was now snoring away in a chair in the opposite corner. Neither JARVIS' voice nor her answering had woken him up.

And Arielle, as usual, slept through everything.

Carefully she got up and tip-toed out of the room.

Loki was awake.

She hoped it was a good sign.

While lying awake she had been "listening", trying to sense him through their connection. All she'd felt was calm. Now, however, something was pulling at the back of her mind, making her hurry her steps. Distress; faint but distinctly there.

Loki was sitting on the edge of the bed when she arrived, head in his hands. Bucky was talking to him, though his voice was too low for her to make out the words.

"Are you alright?" She walked closer, not sure what to expect.

Bucky got up from his chair and gave her a nod before leaving them alone.

"Where were you?" Loki asked without looking up.

"Trying to sleep. It's the middle of the night."

He sighed and rubbed his eyes.  
"It seems like your trick worked. The link appears to be gone."

"Yes, but you still have sleep to catch up on." Sitting down next to him, she put a hand on his leg. "And you should probably eat something."

Loki pursed his lips.  
"Still concerned about my well-being? That is reassuring."

"Why?" She reached for his hand, noticing his fingers were unusually cold. "Something is bothering you; I can feel it."

He allowed the touch but still wouldn't look at her.  
"Since your work here is done, there is little reason for you to remain. You can return home with your daughter if that is your wish."

She went blank for a second.  
"Are you serious?"

"It is the truth, is it not? You were called in to help and you did your part. Now... you are free to leave." There was a defiance to his tone, a defensive anger that told her more than she wanted to know.

"Loki... Look at me. Please!"

Doing as she asked, his face didn't betray any of the intense, unsettled emotion she could feel through their connection.

"Is that really what you think? That I'm just going to leave after all this?" She took a breath, trying to stay calm. "What about our connection? We were friends before we even met. You meant a lot to me before you... changed. Even when we're apart we're close. You can't tell me you don't feel that as much as I do."

Loki pursed his lips again.  
"You are mortal; this is your world. Why leave it for one you know nothing about?"

"Arielle isn't. How long do you think it takes before people begin to notice? We can't stay here." 

"So for her sake..."

"And for mine. And yours. There's no reason for us to be apart. It's not like last time when we didn't have a choice, or back when we didn't know the other existed. We can actually stay together now."

"And you are sure this is what you want?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I want you. Even if I can't fight with you or be useful in this... war that's coming, we can be together. Doesn't that mean anything?"

Loki seemed to ponder her words. There was still a turmoil of emotions inside him, but some of the painful wariness she had felt at first was no longer there.

"You can be useful," he said. "I am not sure yet just how, but there is an untapped potential in your powers that might come in handy."

That took her by surprise. She would have to consider the meaning of that at a later time.  
"Loki, I... I realize that you've been through some really hard things and it can't be easy for you to trust people after that but I do love you. I mean that.

"I am aware," he said, turning his hand so he could caress her fingers with his thumb. "You are quite remarkable in that feat."

"Maybe." She watched their hands as she spoke. "I don't expect everything from here on to be easy, but since we don't know how the future is going to play out it makes sense to take our chance to be together when we can, no?"

"I suppose it does." There was a small, barely detectable, smile on his lips.

They sat quietly for a short while until something caught Loki's attention. He reached out to pick up her sketchbook from the nightstand. It was open on her last work: a sketch of Loki and Arielle, facing the same direction as if she was seated on his lap or held against him. The similarity between them was stunning and she was quite proud of having been able to portray it.

"Her future is uncertain," he said.

"From what I hear, all our future's are."

"There is much still you are not aware of, and it's better if it remains so. We will prepare Asgard for what's to come." His face hardened for a moment. "They will not best me again."

"You got away from them twice, didn't you? Even when they were in your head."

"And they will not have me a third time." His fingers slid softly over the paper, carefully avoiding the lines so not to smudge them.

"Does she have a second name?" he asked.

"Arielle? No, only one." She watched him, trying to figure out what was going on in his mind. "Would you like her to have one? You never had a say in her naming."

"Perhaps. Is it possible?"

"Sure," she said. "It's not that difficult to add another name."

He kept touching the sketch, caressing it with delicate fingers.

"And you would not mind? Considering all I imposed on you... and my absence thereafter?"

"No, I wouldn't mind."

"Very well, then. I wish to name her Frigga. After my mother."

* * *

They were in the kitchen when the messenger came. A woman from Asgard dressed in armor arrived in a blast of light that left a burnt, circular pattern on the lawn in front of the mansion.

Tony rolled his eyes.

"Will you please tell me all-daddy will be replacing that."

"Lady Sif!" Thor went out to greet the woman, smiling with enthusiasm. What news from Asgard?"

"We have received word," she answered, "from Nowhere. Thanos has retrieved the Reality Stone."

Thor's face went grim.  
"Loki!"

"I heard." Loki stepped out, carrying Arielle on his arm as she was playing with his hair and curiously watching the newcomer.

The woman raised her chin, her voice noticeably frostier than before.  
"Loki. Shall I take it you have recovered?"

"Oh, most definitely. In fact, quite a few things have changed since last we saw each other."

Sif looked from him to the little girl he was holding, clearly noticing the resemblance but not commenting on it.

"We need to return to Asgard without delay," Thor said. "If you need more rest..."

"I can manage, thank you." Loki's eyes didn't leave Sif's. It looked like he was challenging her. "And so can the ones who are coming with us."

She stepped up beside him, feeling small next to the tall Asgardians but trying to look as dignified as possible. Loki put his arm around her shoulders.

"Mortals?" Sif raised an eyebrow.

"My brother's family," Thor stated.

"I'm coming too," a voice came from the side.

"Bucky, no!"

"Don't worry, Steve. I'll be back." Bucky smiled. "Just made a promise last night. Gotta keep it."

"What promise, if I may ask?" Tony sounded casual but there was a hint of steel in his voice.

"To aid my brother in recovering from what was done to him," Thor explained. "I understand your friend has been through things not dissimilar."

Now it was Loki's turn to roll his eyes. She could tell he wasn't pleased with Thor airing his issues in front of everyone but saying anything would only make it worse.

She discreetly leaned closer into him.

_Vulnerability isn't your enemy, Loki. You've gone too long thinking it is._

She hoped he would pick up the sentiment even if he couldn't read her thoughts.

_You're not alone anymore._

There was little to pack. Saying goodbye actually took longer.

"We will see each other again," Thor promised.

Arielle waved.  
"Bye, Ion Man."

Bruce looked confused.  
"Why... why is she saying bye to you? You weren't even watching her. I didn't see you speak two words to her."

"Now," Tony said, "let me tell you a secret about kids. There is one way to their hearts and that one way is ice cream. Trust me. It's a shortcut."

Loki spun a shielding spell around Arielle for the trip, protecting her from the forceful thrust of the Bifrost.  
"It will keep her safe," he assured.

"Heimdall!" Thor shouted. "We are ready."

She took one last look at her old world, then they were embraced by light. Asgard was waiting.

A new home.


End file.
